


Take Me To Church

by Raven_Valentine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ballet, Anal Sex, Angst, Ballet, Best friend Jo, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dean, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Cuddling, Cute, Cute Kids, Dancer Castiel, Dancing, Domestic, Domestic Dean Winchester, Fluff, Fluffy, Fluffy Destiel, M/M, Oral Sex, Romance, Top Castiel, ballet classes, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-21
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-03-14 09:58:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 43,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3406433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Valentine/pseuds/Raven_Valentine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is raising his brother's girl and when she takes ballet classes he meets her teacher Castiel and this is the moment Dean begins to think that he might like men. //"Dean’s heart was racing in his chest as he watched Cas fall to the ground in another slow part of the song and he pressed his hips off the floor, standing on the tips of his toes, holding his upper body upright with his shoulders only, his whole body arching delicately, evoking the dirtiest thoughts Dean had ever thought in his entire life. And that meant something!"//</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Folks,  
> this is based on a video I saw on Huffington Post and while watching it, this story came up in my mind… Normally I'm absolutely not into ballet and I would think this story was kind of strange but this video... just wow!  
> I already feel sorry for the first few paragraphs and I hope it won’t make you too sad. It will get better, I swear ;)
> 
> http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/02/10/sergei-polunin-hozier_n_6655920.html?ir=Good+News&ncid=fcbklnkushpmg00000023
> 
> This is the link to the magnificent Ballet dancer who inspired this story. Imagine him being Cas in an AU where he's a ballet dancer and imagine Dean watching him without Cas knowing that he's there!  
> See? You want to read it, too ;)  
> Hope you like it.

 

 

**Take Me To Church**

 

Dean could already hear his phone ringing in his house and he hurried to get the door open to get the call before the caller gave up. With a curse he stumbled through his living room and looked around for the phone. The ringing came from somewhere on the sofa and the mechanic grabbed the cushions and plaid that was lying on it, making the ringing phone fall to the ground.

 

“Damnit.” Dean muttered, then pushed the button to answer. “Dean Winchester.” He said, hoping that he didn’t sound as annoyed as he was but once he heard the other person speak, everything was forgotten and his mind was wiped blank.

 

“This is doctor Miller from the Sacred Heart Hospital, Lawrence. We found that you are the emergency contact for Sam Winchester.” Instantly, Deans hands began to shake because this doctor was speaking as if something bad had happened and he really wasn’t sure if he wanted to hear it, if he was able to deal with bad news. “Your brother and his family had a car accident. He and his wife didn’t make it. You would like to come here to care for everything, Mr. Winchester, especially the little girl might need you.” Sammy? So was he dead? Dean didn’t know what he said to the man on the telephone, he mumbled something under his breath, then went back to his car in a rush, his veins flooded with adrenaline as he was driving over to the hospital, all the while hoping that it was a mistake, that the doctor had dialed the wrong number and they would all laugh about it during their next Friday dinner.

 

The whole way to the hospital was a blur, the man didn’t even know how he came to the office of the doctor who had called and he didn’t realize that a nurse lead him there and made him sit down in front of a cluttered desk. Doctor Miller entered and informed Dean that his brother and his sister in law, Jessica, had both died during the car accident on a rainy road. They had died immediately when the car had crashed into a tree but their little daughter, Sophie, was still alive. The child had suffered some minor bruises and a broken wrist but otherwise the was physically okay. The doctor called it a miracle while Dean was still processing what it all meant for him… His brother was dead. The only person left of his family was now gone, too, and his pretty sister in law, Jessica was also dead. Sophie had lost her parents today and she would grow up as an orphan, never knowing what a wonderful mother and father she had had.

 

Tears ran down the older Winchester brother’s cheeks as he was lead to the room where his niece was sleeping. She was two years old and way too young to realize what had happened. Nobody had told her that her parents were dead, they left it to Dean because he was her uncle. And now the only family Sophie had left. Dean broke down once he was in her room and saw the little human resting in a hospital bed, sleeping, not knowing that she was alone from now on, that she would never really know her Mommy and Daddy. And Dean would never talk to Sam again, he would never laugh with him again… This seemed so unrealistic, it was dumb, but still Dean wasn't really believing what was happening to his little family. They had been alive a few hours ago and now they were just gone.

 

Kneeling in front of Sophie’s bed, he grabbed her little hand in his own calloused one and brought it up to his lips, kissing her little fingers. “We’ll make it, Sweetie.” He whispered through his tears, resting his forehead on the sheets. “I’ll make sure that you will be okay again.” With a sigh doctor Miller left the room to give this small family a little space. He hated to watch scenes like this, children deserved to have parents. Poor child.

 

When Sophie woke up, her uncle told her that her parents had gone to Heaven, that they were in a better place now and he felt so bad and miserable for telling this a two year old girl but what could he do? As expected, little Sophie didn’t really understand what Dean told her, she just smiled and said that she would stay with him until her parents came back. Dean nodded, unable to do anything else while his heart broke to a thousand pieces, unable to tell her that they wouldn't come back, ever, that would have to wait till later.

 

The next weeks were equally hard for both of them because Sophie didn’t want to leave Dean’s side for a second but the authorities wanted her in an orphanage as long as he wasn’t officially announced her legal guardian. In the end they made it and five months of pain and a lot of paperwork, Sophie moved in with her uncle who had already prepared a nice room for her with a lot of her stuff from her parent’s house.

 

Dean had never wanted children, but here he was, loving his little Sophie from the heart, willing to give everything to make her happy. Sam and Jess would have wanted it this way.

 

**+XxX+**

 

“Ballet, Sweetie?” Dean asked and sighed. He would roll his eyes if he hadn’t strictly forbidden to do this in his house – fearing that Sophie’s eyes would roll out of her head someday. His five year old niece stood in front of him, making herself as tall and straight as possible to underline the importance of her question even more, she had her little hands on her hips and looked Dean straight into the eyes.

 

“Yes!” She excitedly hopped from one foot to the other, clapping her hands as she began to dance around him in awkward pirouettes. “I want a pink tutu and these cool shoes and I want to dance like a princess.” She kind of chanted, describing her wish to her uncle with a dreamy smile on her face. She stopped in her dancing and turning and looked up into his eyes, remembering her most important argument. “Nora dances, too. She showed us what she had learned at pre-school, in gym class and it was reeeeeaaaally cool, Dean.” Another pirouette that nearly made Sophie fall over to underline her statement. “See? I’m not good at it, I need ballet classes.” Dean sighed and nodded.

 

“I'll think about it, Sophie.” He said and wanted to push past her, dismissing the topic as soon as possible, but she pressed her hands against his stomach to make him stop.

 

“Please. Pretty, pretty please!” Oh shit, there were these puppy eyes again that she had definitely inherited from her Dad. Dean hated it, because he wasn’t able to deny her anything when she did this. Just like it had been with his brother when they had been young.

 

“I said I will think about it.” Dean repeated but Sophie still didn’t let him go.

 

“That means ‘no’, I know that.” She said a little angry. “Can we just go to the ballet school when Nora’s there? You can see for yourself how cool this is.” Dean grabbed the girl and threw her over his shoulder, tickling her naked feet as he effortlessly carried her up the stairs and into her bedroom. With a giggle she struggled to get free but he held her firmly, not daring to let her fall from such a height.

 

“I don’t think these feet are made for dancing.” Dean teased and threw his niece onto the bed, still holding both her ankles in one hand while tickling the soles of her feet with the other. Sophie squealed with joy and threw herself around, trying to get away. “See? They’re way too ticklish, they will never be able to dance.”

 

“Oh yes, they will!” Sophie laughed and finally freed her feet and legs from her uncle’s grip, getting up on the bed to attack him herself, throwing her body at his, pinning him to the  bed as she sat on his stomach to tickle his sides. It didn’t bother Dean, he wasn’t ticklish and he just looked up into her eyes with unimpressed green eyes. “Oh, jeez, Dean….” Sophie said disappointed and gave up, still sitting on his stomach, holding him down. That was what she thought. If Dean wanted to get up, he could easily do so but it was just fine with him to sometimes let her have her way.

 

“Here’s the deal.” He said and she excitedly nodded, her long blonde hair bobbing up and down over her back and shoulders. “We will go and have a look while Nora’s having one of her ballet classes, okay? And if it convinces both you and me, we will look if you get classes as well, okay?” She fell down onto his chest to hug him.

 

“You’re the best!” She said and pressed a moist kiss to his cheek, then crawled under her blanket to get ready for sleep. Wow, she was really trying to be a good girl when she wanted something. With a smile the man got up from where he sat and pulled the blanket up to her chin, kissing her forehead.

 

“I know.” He grinned. “Good night, Sweetie. Sleep well.”

 

“Good night, Dean.” Sophie said, then turned around to sleep. On his way out, Dean switched off the bedside lamp and closed the door, heading back down to watch a bit TV before he went to bed himself. Normally he already fell asleep on the sofa, waking up in the morning with a crick in his neck. He would never have guessed that his life would take such a strange turn but he was strangely okay with it because Sophie was a wonderful child and she didn’t cause a lot of trouble. Her teachers were very satisfied with her and Dean was proud of his brother’s little girl and how well she dealt with her cruel fate.

 

His own life had changed immensely: before Sophie had lived with him, he had just worked each day and stayed up late, sometimes having a drink with some friends at some bar or the other and he had even brought home a girl from time to time to get some distraction. It had been nice but it had never felt really good. There had never been a girlfriend in his life and though Dean had never really thought about having one, he was actually missing someone by his side now that he had a little girl to care for.

 

Of course, Sophie was a good girl and listened to what he said but sometimes he knew that something was missing: for example on the day she had asked him where her Mommy was and when she and her Daddy would come back from Heaven. Or the day she had declared that she didn’t want a doll but some tools to work on Dean’s car. It was okay that girls weren’t really supposed to be girls and do girlish stuff and girlish jobs and all but on that day Dean had seen that female influence was definitely missing in her life. So maybe ballet wasn’t such a bad idea. She couldn’t hang out with Dean to work on his dad’s old Impala every day and she sure as hell would hate him if she never had another hobby, right?

 

Dean sighed and switched on the TV, finding a nice episode of Dr. Sexy M.D. to watch but his thoughts drifted back to Sophie. She needed a woman to guide her, or at least someone who wasn’t as broken and socially incompatible like Dean. Going out with his friends for a drink was one thing – the last time was months ago. But going to school in the evenings to meet other parents was totally different. The other parents seemed so old and so damn grown up that Dean always felt a little out of place when he was there, though he was thirty three as well. But he didn’t feel like he belonged there, he endured the talking about cooking and the best playground around for Sophie.

 

And his little girl was so worth it all. He would never have thought that he would live up to his parent role, that it would feel good to have a child but he wouldn’t change back to his old life, even if he could. Sophie was worth giving up going to bars, getting drunk home and fuck some random stranger. This was much more fulfilling, even though he was doing it all alone. Going on dates was hard when you have a child and he refused to bring Sophie to a date, who knew if she would ever meet the woman again. And when he found a babysitter, he preferred to spend time with his friends and in the end he would come home and feel great because he and Sophie are all the family he currently needs.

 

Tonight Dean didn’t fall asleep on his sofa, he actually managed to get up to fall into his bed. His own bedroom was right opposite Sophie’s and before he went to bed, he checked on her, making sure that she was sound asleep. The door slid open noiselessly and Dean just stood against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his bright chest, looking at her sleeping form as she dreamed.

 

“I love you, little Sophie.” He whispered, then closed the door again and went over to his own bedroom, crawling under the covers of his huge and comfortable king size bed. He dreamed of Sophie dancing on a stage in a pink tutu…

 

The next morning came way too early and Dean’s alarm went off mercilessly and of course way too early. The blonde rolled over and tried to ignore it but he could already hear Sophie rummaging around in her room, maybe getting ready for school, maybe getting ready for a mad tea party with her dolls and stuffed animals. You never knew in the mornings and so Dean got up unwillingly, pulling on a t-shirt before he entered her room to find her sitting at her desk in her pajamas, a crayon in her hand, drawing something on a piece of paper.

 

“Good morning, darling.” Dean said and walked over to her, grabbing a skirt and shirt on his way over that he threw onto the desk before she could argue. “Get yourself dressed, I will prepare breakfast for us, okay?”

 

“I don’t wanna go to school today, I wanna paint and…”

 

“Nope. Get yourself dressed. If you’re not in the kitchen within ten minutes I will get you myself and we will never talk about ballet ever again, got me?” Dean asked and Sophie didn’t dare to argue. She already got up, when Dean left again to put on a jeans and some socks before he got down and made some toast for his girl. She really made it within ten minutes, she was dressed and had combed her hair, beaming at her uncle as she sat down at the table.

 

“So, will we go to look at the ballet school today?” She asked while Dean handed her a plate with toast and a cup of milk.

 

“Today already?” Inwardly he groaned, trying not to show it. He wasn’t ready to face the other parents and a strict ballet teacher just yet.

 

“Yessss… Nora said they always train on Wednesdays and Fridays and I would love to go today.” She did this puppy eye thing on him again . “Pleeeaaase, Dean, please.”

 

“Fine,” The sooner he got it over with, the better. And it made Sophie happy, she didn’t talk of anything but pink tutus, ballerina shoes and dancing on their way over to her school where Dean dropped her off with his Impala. It was a weird picture each and every day: there were some vans and hybrid cars, all of them perfect for a family, new and in strange colors. And then there were Dean and Sophie in their old vintage car, AC/DC blasting from the speakers and they both sang along. In the beginning Dean had been afraid that the other kids would make fun of her when she got out of such a car with such strange music but actually the boys adored the car and even some fathers threw longing glances after his car, so Dean enjoyed it a lot. When he kissed his girl goodbye she reminded him of the ballet classes today – again – and he laughed and nodded, driving off to work as well.

 

Dean worked in the garage of their old family friend Bobby. The man was like a second father to Dean and when John and Mary had died, Bobby had cared for the two boys who got left behind like they were his own and Dean still regarded him as family. The grumpy old man was really good hearted and had a soft spot for Sophie because he was just as sad that Sam and Jess had died like Dean was and he did everything to help the little family so that Dean and Sophie would get through. He even let Dean work only half of the day so that he could care for his niece and on the weekends, Dean made up for it and took one car or the other home to work in his own little garage so that Bobby wouldn’t lose any customers. It worked out well and so they both agreed  that it was okay that Dean still received his whole wages while working part time and on the weekends. Of course Dean was glad for this agreement, he didn’t know what he would do without Bobby’s help. Sometimes Bobby even looked after Sophie on the weekends and they both got along wonderfully. It was as if she had a grandpa and she loved to sleep over at Bobby’s whenever it was possible.

 

When Dean told him about his plan to let Sophie take ballet classes, his friend laughed heartily and patted Dean’s back with his huge hand.

 

“Oh, Dean, she will be the end of you, believe me.”

 

“She’s a girl, Bobby, she can’t always help me repairing cars. She needs a hobby for her own, maybe she’s even good at it.” Dean tried and Bobby nodded.

 

“I know, son, I know. And she’s already interested in cars, she won’t lose that.” A wink. “You should find yourself a nice woman so that Sophie won’t be raised by a man like you.” Dean looked up with a fake pout.

 

“A man like me? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He knew very well what it was supposed to mean, Dean wasn’t the kind of person you would call a family man, though he was a great parent for his little brother’s girl. Still he didn’t know about ‘girly’ stuff. It would be hard for his niece someday. She slowly grew to become old enough to realize what was missing, what other children had that she didn’t. “I know what you mean, Bobby.” Dean answered, before the other man could say anything. “I’ll do the best I can and hope that it will be enough.”

 

“S’okay, son. She is great and she gets smarter from day to day.” Bobby said. “You’re doing great, Sam would be proud of you.”

 

“Thanks.” Dean mumbled, close to tears. It was time to go to work, it would distract him from his dark thoughts and he needed to do something. Bobby just watched him walk away and smiled. Sophie couldn’t have a better foster father than Dean, the man was giving everything for his little girl, making sure that she had and got everything that she needed. Of course he was thinking about her dead parents a lot, maybe because Dean knew for himself how hard it could be but on the other hand, Bobby’s friend had grown up to be a responsible man even without parents and the mechanic was sure that Sophie would as well. Bobby sighed and got to work as well, hoping that Dean would someday realize how good he was for Sophie.

 

**+XxX+**

 

The drive to the ballet school was really a challenge for Dean because Sophie was excited beyond belief, hopping up and down wherever she stood and sat, talking of nothing but dancing and how good she would like while doing so. Her uncle hoped that she wouldn’t be disappointed when she tried it herself, he had once heard that ballet was a really hard hobby from a girl he had taken home… Her feet had looked terrible, there had been blisters on her toes and soles and just everywhere and he wasn’t sure if he wanted this for his little girl. Well, the beginning wouldn’t be too bad he thought and who knew if Sophie was really interested in dancing for long, so he would give it a try if it made her happy.

 

“Did you know that even men can become ballet dancers?” Sophie asked. Fact number Dean-had-lost-count for today. “Maybe you can be a dancer, too, we could buy you a pink tutu as well and could take classes together.” Okay, that actually made Dean laugh and he threw his head back after he had parked the car on the parking lot of the ballet school.

 

“Yeah, you would like that, right? Seeing your poor old uncle in pink clothes, hopping around like an elephant, eh?” Sophie giggled at this comment.

 

“But you would be a pink elephant.” Yes, he would be. Pink and drunk. They got out of the car and Sophie couldn’t get into the building fast enough, searching for Nora in the small lobby. “There she is.” Sophie said and rushed over to a brunette girl who already wore her trainings dress, waiting on a bench next to her mother. Dean sighed and followed her. Of course he would have to talk to other parents…

 

“Hi Nora.” He said when she greeted him as well, then he looked towards her mother. She was kind of a chubby woman but still had it in the right places, looking nice in her tight jeans and shirt but Dean didn’t see things like this anymore, he was focused on being a father. “Hi, I’m Dean.” He introduced himself, grabbing her hand to shake it.

 

“Dina.” She said. “I’ve already heard that Sophie wants to take lessons as well. Nora loves it and she loves their teacher. I do, too, I think it is a great plus.”  Dean just nodded, looking around, finding a few other girls and some parents.

 

“Do you usually stay during the lessons.?” He asked Dina and she grinned.

 

“Sometimes. There’s a nice mall a few steps down the road and most of the time I stroll around there. I don’t get the opportunity too often otherwise, you know how it is. But as it will be Sophie’s first lesson I think the teacher wants you to watch. Don’t worry, it isn’t as boring as it sounds.” She laughed when she saw Dean’s face.

 

“ Yeah, okay. Thanks Dina.” He said, then ushered Sophie into the room where the lessons would take place.

 

**TBC**

 


	2. Meeting Her Teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So Sophie can finally go to ballet school...

CHAPTER 2

 

The room was bright and for the moment it was empty. Dean didn’t doubt that this would change within the next few minutes and he wanted to use the opportunity for a short talk with the teacher to see how she worked and who she was. He was surprised when they found a man standing in a corner, checking something on a CD-player, obviously looking for a CD he didn’t find. The black haired man was kneeling on the floor, hunched over the player and he mumbled under his breath, sounding annoyed. What was he doing here? Was he some kind of assistant to the teacher? Dean knew that he was sometimes overprotective when it came to his little Sophie but he wanted to make sure that this man was okay… To get the man’s attention, he cleared his throat, his hands grabbing Sophie’s shoulder to pull her closer against his side. It was Dean who felt slightly uncomfortable in a ballet school and he was glad that she was by his side, strangely comforting.

 

The raven haired man turned around and looked up at the pair standing in the middle of the room. With graceful movements he got up from the floor and from the way he was moving Dean could tell that he was a dancer as well, his feet were strangely flattened against the floor as he pushed himself up and the way his body unfolded itself was impressing. Dean stared. Damn, he had never seen a man as beautiful as him: electric blue eyes sparkled as the man waited for Dean to say something and the corners of his mouth curled up slightly in an amused smile, creating wrinkles next to his eyes, highlighting their beauty. Dark scruff covered the man’s chin and parts of his neck, making him appear a bit shabby, but the positively shabby way, like the I-don’t-care-what-others-think-way that Dean sported himself sometimes.

 

The man’s lean body was clad in a tight black training suit that left little to imagination and Dean immediately hated himself for staring at the man’s perfectly muscled chest, trailing down towards strong legs and feet that vanished in thin shoes that were made for ballet dancers. Oh shit. He should say something, right? Dean remembered his good manners and stretched out his hand.

 

“Hi, my name’s Dean.” He managed to say with just a little husky sound in his voice that made those fuckin’ blue eyes sparkle even more. What the hell was wrong with him? He had never been into men but this specimen intimidated him with his stunning appearance and from the grin on his face he could very well read it on Dean’s face. Shit. “And this is Sophie.” He introduced his niece and gave her a slight push so that she would shake hands with the man as well. “She’s here because Nora told her how great ballet dancing is and well… here we are.” The smile on the dancer’s face got wider and he shook both Dean’s and Sophie’s hands.

 

“My name is Castiel. The children call me Cas, it’s easier. I will be your teacher, Sophie.” Dean gulped. _He_ was the teacher? Weren’t they supposed to be tiny women with an eating disorder and strange hair? “You can just take off your shoes and take part in class to see if you like it, okay?” Sophie nodded eagerly and looked up at her uncle to see if it was okay with him. Dean smiled and nodded, making her smile brighten even more. If she was really that happy to take ballet classes he should get over his reservations and subscribe her for this course. Cas had caught his smile, too, his own eyes sliding over Dean’s face, making Sophie’s uncle more than nervous. “You can stay, too, Dean.” He say d and somehow it sounds like an invitation to a candlelight dinner from his lips.

 

“Sounds great.” Dean said, then turned to his little niece to lead her over to a bank so she could take off her shoes. As he sat down next to her, he still felt Cas’ eyes on him, it was strange but he even liked it. Oh God, he needed to hold it together, he had never looked twice at a man. Well, he could tell if someone was good looking or not but that was normally the end of it, he had never even thought about dating a man… ‘This will fade in a few minutes.’ Dean told himself and watched as Sophie runs over to Nora to tell her that she is allowed to take part in the class as well. The room filled with little girls who looked really sweet in their training suits and even some parents join but most of them leave once the class begins.

 

The lesson began with some warming up and most of the girls already knew what to do and so Castiel was helping Sophie a little but she was very attentive and got it all within seconds and with a little help from the raven haired man. It was nice to watch her while she was enjoying herself, she was paying much attention, trying to get everything ready at the first try and she even succeeded sometimes, making Dean kind of proud of her. She was such an intelligent girl and obviously she was really interested in learning ballet dancing because she never missed anything Cas said and made sure that he was satisfied with what she did. So unlike her uncle… Dean had never been good at school, he had always had other things on his mind and he admired in Sophie that she was able to follow a class so well. That explained her good grades in school. He hoped that it wouldn’t change and that she would use the opportunity to have a well paid job one day. He wished that she would have a better life than he had himself. He was just a mechanic, working for others but she was smart enough to have it better one day.

 

Maybe she would become a lawyer like her father, Dean had always been proud of Sammy because he was so damn smart and clever, able to make it through university within a few years. He had been so much better than Dean and if he would be able to do it, he would trade his own life to get his brother and Jessica back. They would have been better parents than he could ever be and sometimes – when Dean thought about it too much – he felt like he would never be enough for Sophie, she would always miss something because of Dean. That she was smiling now made him happy and he smiled himself while he watched her, lost in her cute, huge hazel eyes that were just like her father’s.

 

Time went by fast and soon Castiel ushered the girls out of the room, waving goodbyes, smiling brightly all the time. Dean found his eyes glued to that face once again and when all children except Sophie were out of the room, Cas came over and fell onto the bank next to Dean, exhaling, letting his head fall back against the wall. He seemed to feel at ease around Sophie’s uncle but maybe he was just used to parents being around a lot. Dean realized that Castiel’s chest was heaving a little faster than normal, he seemed exhausted and for just a tiny little split second Dean imagined him looking like this when he was done with him after a nice roll in the sheets. Oookay, not cool, now he was blushing.

 

“So? Are you convinced?” He asked and when Dean just stared at him, puzzled and wide eyed, Cas cracked an eye open and looked at him, his baby blue eyes sparkling with mischief. “That you daughter likes ballet?” He adds with a smirk. Was he able to see that Dean was distracted? Heaven help him…

 

“Dean!” Sophie came over and Dean pulled her into her lap, doing something normal to get himself back on a straight track – no pun intended. “T’was great. Can I come again? Can I take lessons? Please, I really like it.” Dean placed a kiss into her blonde hair. His heart beat faster when she was happy and it made him happy as well. He didn't even notice that he was smiling like a maniac.

 

“Yeah, I think so, Sweetie.” He answered. “You did great.” Dean handed Sophie her shoes and she slipped off his lap to sit down on the floor to pull them on.

 

“So how come that you accompany her to a ballet school?” Castiel asked, the smirk still on his face and it leaked through in his voice as well. “It’s normally the mothers taking the children here, men are uneasy when faced with ballet and pink dresses and all this stuff…” Dean could very well imagine why the women came to bring their children, they had some nice teacher to get a look at…

 

“I’m not her father.” Dean said silently so Sophie wouldn’t hear him  though she knew. But she was just so happy, he didn’t want to destroy it by reminding her of her dead parents. “I’m her uncle, I took her in after my brother and his wife died. So who else should bring her here if not me?”

 

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Cas said, the smile instantly leaving his face and Dean missed it already. “But she’s a great girl, right?” Dean nodded without hesitation. “And she learns faster than others her age. I think she will be great if she doesn’t lose interest. But who can tell at their age…?” Dean laughed a little.

 

“No need to convince me further, I already said yes to her and she will nail me to it.”

 

“I just wanted you to know that it won’t be lost money.” Castiel winked at him, earning a puzzled look that was gone within seconds. “So I can give you an application form for the course, I have them over in my bag.” The teacher got up and walked over to his things, bending down to his bag from which he pulled a map with seemingly lots of paperwork. He pulled one sheet out of it, then stuffed it back in to pull out another, seemingly satisfied with this one. Dean didn’t notice any of this, his eyes were glued to Cas’ rear. This motherfucker was doing this on purpose, Dean was sure. When the man came back towards him, Dean fixed his eyes on little Sophie who was already done and got up to take the form from her new teacher, waving it in Dean’s direction.

 

“See, Dean? You can sign me up for this class and I will be a ballerina in no time.” She did one of the steps she had learned today and both men laughed a little. Cas came over to Dean.

 

“She’s wonderful.” He said while looking into her uncle’s forest green eyes, locking them with his own ocean blue depths. “So I will see you again?” He asked then.

 

“I guess so.” Dean answered and shook the hand Castiel offered while they still stared into each others eyes as if they held answers to all their questions.

 

“Great. I’m looking forward to it.”

 

Electrical jolts thundered down Dean’s spine as he turned his back towards Castiel, grabbing Sophie’s hand to lead her out of the room to get her home. He was sure that blue eyes followed his every movement, he felt them on his skin and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end, too aware of the attention. It was enjoyed way too much.

 

When Dean finally fell into the driver’s seat of his car, he let his head fall back and heaved a deep sigh, closing his eyes. “I’m _so_ screwed.” He mumbled and Sophie’s eyes turned over to him.

 

“What did you say?” She asked but from the way she said it, he was sure that she hadn’t caught the phrase, just that he had said _something_ and he was glad for it.

 

“Nothing, Sweetie. We will drive home and I will make us Spaghetti, okay?” Hopefully cooking would distract him from his strange thoughts.

 

“Yes. With salad?” Dean rolled his eyes. Just like her father…

 

“With salad, if you want.”

 

**+XxX+**

 

Thursday and Friday passed by highly uneventful, Sophie went to pre-school while Dean was at work but something still nagged at the back of Dean’s head: Castiel’s beautiful face that he just couldn’t forget. This was fuckin’ weird because he wasn’t into men, hell he wasn’t even into women at the moment, he was close to being asexual so why was this pretty dancer dancing around in his head, making him question his sexuality? Just no! He was straight, no question, no doubts, nothing! But why was it so damn distracting to think about those blue eyes while he was at work and why did he think about that smile whenever his thoughts wandered off? He must have been imagining it all, he hadn’t flirted in a long while, so he was mistaking someone being nice to him as a flirtation. Right. He should definitely go out at the weekend to find himself a nice girl who would get his mind onto a different track. The more he thought about it, the better the idea got and he asked Bobby to care for Sophie on the weekend who gladly accepted.

 

That would give Dean the opportunity to even take the girl home draping her on his huge bed before he fucked her brains out of her. Once it was all settled he dared to ask himself why he was thinking about draping Cas in the sheets and fucking him senseless? God, this was beginning to get on his nerves. The next step would be that Dean would drive Sophie over to the ballet school but he wouldn’t stay there during the lessons, he would just head over to a grocery store to buy the things they needed while she was there. He would accompany her on Friday to sign her up for the classes but after this he would never set a step into that damn school ever again. This sounded like a plan and Dean found himself satisfied with it. He was sure that a nice girl would make him forget about everything.

 

On Friday afternoon Sophie was already excited to get to her second lesson, they had bought her a black suit that fit her well and along with the shoes it made her appear like a real little dancer, making Dean feel proud of her yet again. He took the sheet Cas had given him the other day and looked it over again, making sure that he had filled in everything correctly. A little frown when he saw his phone number but he couldn’t help it, if something happened to Sophie, they would at least have to call him, the dancer wouldn’t use it for anything else, would he? When Dean had made sure that everything was correct, he called Sophie who was still in her room.

 

“Can Mr. Piggy come, too?” She asked as she came down the stairs just a second after he had called and held up her pink stuffed animal with said name. Dean rolled his eyes but as they were already in a hurry he just nodded and with a beam Sophie stuffed Mr. Piggy into her bag before she followed Dean to the car, already dancing again, looking forward to her class. It made the man smile again, it seemed as if she was different, finally having found something that she liked to do. And of course it was already driving her uncle crazy…

 

Sophie was already running ahead when she saw Nora and Dean followed her, hoping to somehow avoiding Castiel but how else should he sign Sophie up? With a sigh Dean entered the school as well, making his way through the crowd in the foyer, looking for Cas in the room where he had found him last time. It was empty, there was a bag in the corner, that Dean would be able to identify as Cas’ if he hadn’t just looked at his ass the first time he had seen it but otherwise there was no one there. So much for his plan to get in there, throw the assignment sheet into his face and run away for dear life. Great.

 

“Nice to see you again.” Someone said right next to his ear, making the mechanic jump out of his skin. “No need to jump like that.” His deep, raspy voice said with a giggle that sounded like someone was dragging sandpaper over gravel. Where the fuck had the man come from? Dean watched him walking over to his bag, he was moving soundlessly, like a cat, his feet not making the slightest noise on the polished wood floor.

 

“Erm… I just wanted to give you this and make sure that Sophie gets here and…yeah.” Dean stammered, again feeling helplessly dumb in Castiel’s presence.

 

“Eloquent, aren’t we?” Cas said as he stepped over, grabbing the sheet that Dean was offering to tug it into the map in his bag. His comment did two things to Dean: it made him angry at himself that he let himself feel that intimidated by one man he barely even knew and it made his knees weak, making him stare at the raven haired, handsome fucker in front of him. Damn him and his flirty looks that he threw Dean’s way. And no, Dean wasn’t imagining…

 

“I should go.” Dean mumbled under his breath. All he wanted was to get out of here, he needed fresh air to breathe or otherwise his body would convince him that he _wanted_ this guy. But he didn’t want to want him, he didn’t swing that way and never would, thank you very much. Castiel moved so fast that the blonde didn’t see it coming, he blocked Dean’s way out of the room.

 

“I think you should stay.” Blue eyes raked over Dean’s face, leaving no doubt. “Sophie would like it as well, right?”

 

“Right.” The word was out of his mouth before Dean could even think about it, cursing his mouth for being faster than his stupid brain. He realized that he was trapped between Castiel and the door and he could hear the children come in behind him. “I should better sit and watch, you wouldn’t like me dancing around as well…” He said in a poor attempt at humor.

 

“Maybe I would…” Cas said but Dean chose to ignore him as he made his way over to sit on the bank again, waiting for the lesson to end while he watched Sophie. At least one of them was having fun but today was going by way too slowly for Dean’s taste. He didn’t just watch Sophie. Every now and then his eyes darted towards the teacher and two or three times, blue eyes caught him staring and chapped lips smiled ever so slightly making Dean wonder why he was still sitting here. He didn’t want this, this made him more than uncomfortable and arose questions he didn’t like to think about.

 

Within a few seconds he had typed a text to Jo, he needed to talk to her about this, he needed someone who knew him inside out and she was one of his oldest friends, knowing him since their first school days and she literally knew everything about Dean. His phone vibrated a few minutes later, showing a text from Jo that she would come over around eight. It was strange how much this relieved Dean. Maybe he needed to talk to her more often to get the worries out of his head but until Wednesday his only worry had been to keep Sophie happy and that had really been enough in his book.

 

Finally the course was over and Dean nearly dragged Sophie out of this place, avoiding to speak to Castiel before he left. He glanced back as he made his way through the door and he knew it would be a mistake because he could feel Cas’ blue eyes watching him and as he found them over the heads of the other girls and their mothers, Dean found them looking after him with a sad gaze. To hell with it. He wouldn’t set a foot in here again, his niece was old enough to walk a few steps on her own and it would definitely help Dean to get over these strange feelings that boiled in his gut and made him mad at himself. With a shake of his head he turned to leave, driving back home with a bad conscience.

 

**+XxX+**

 

“How the hell could you forget Mr. Piggy?” Dean asked, throwing his head up in the air. Sophie stood next to Jo, trying to hide behind her, knowing that it made her uncle angry if she forgot her favorite stuffed animal somewhere.

 

“I cannot sleep without him.”

 

“You have to learn it, I can’t drive back to your ballet school, they will have closed already.” Sophie’s eyes grew larger, filling with tears and she grabbed Jo’s jeans tighter between her fists.

 

“He keeps the bad dreams away.” She whispered. It convinced Dean and he surrendered, knowing that she would indeed have bad dreams when Mr. Piggy wasn’t there, he had seen it. When he wasn’t with her, Sophie would dream about the car accidents of her parents and see them die over and over again and both Dean and Sophie hated these nights with a passion.

 

“Alright.” He said. “We'll drive over and look if they are still open and I will get Mr. Piggy if possible. If I can’t get him back today you will have to cuddle with Miss Piggy.” She didn’t like Miss Piggy as much as Mr. Piggy but sometimes it helped as well though he didn’t want to risk anything, he didn’t want her to dream about his dead brother and his wife…

 

“What about you drive over and search for Mr. Piggy and we get you ready for bed and when dean comes back you can go to sleep with your pig? Does it sound okay to you?” Jo piped up and Dean was thankful. He desperately needed to talk to Jo alone and when Sophie was asleep it would be a lot easier for them.

 

“Fine.” Dean mumbled and grabbed his jacket. “You owe me one, Sweetie.” He said before he left the house, making Jo grin. Thank God it wasn’t that far to the school and it took Dean just ten minutes to get there as the streets were nearly empty that late. There was light on behind the front door of the school and Dean’s hopes rose as he got out of the car walking over to try to open it and it really was still open. Never had he thought that he would have such luck but he wasn’t sure if he was that lucky because the door to Cas’ training room was still open and the lights were on as well. Shit. Hopefully it was just someone cleaning in there… Dean spotted a pink stuffed animal sitting under the door of the room and he hoped that he could grab it without someone seeing him. Carefully he walked over, peering into the room, forgetting about the animal.

 

**TBC**

 

 


	3. Private Dancer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas finally gets the chance to dance for Dean ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Folks!   
> Thank you for your comments, you're great!
> 
> I was really looking forward to write this chapter and I hope that I'm able to make you see what I see. 
> 
> Please have mercy on me and my bad English... It's really hard to paint such a picture in a language that's not my own.
> 
> Hope you enjoy nevertheless!

CHAPTER 3

 

There he stood with his back towards the door, his hands on the barre and in the mirror Dean could see his reflection: Castiel’s eyes were closed as he stretched his long legs that seemed endless in the dim light of the room. One foot was on the floor, the other raised so high up into the air that Dean gulped. This must plainly _hurt_. Cas stayed like this a little while, his head swaying a little with the music, then he changed from one foot to the other, raising the other leg into the air. This was enough, Dean had to go. He grabbed the stuffed animal that Sophie had forgotten but something about Castiel made him stay and watch. The atmosphere in the room was relaxed and yet it promised that something was about to happen, something that Dean was sure he wouldn’t want to miss.

 

A part of him felt like a peeping tom as he stood next to the door, peering into a room to watch a man who wasn’t aware of Dean’s presence. This was so damn wrong, he should walk in there and explain to the ballet dancer why he was here but he just didn’t have the guts to disturb Castiel in whatever he was doing there. The raven haired made a step back from the barre and leaned forward, his fingers touching his toes as his body flipped down like a switchblade. All Dean could do was stare, his mouth open in awe as he saw how bendy that man was while he was barely able to reach his knees with his fingers. It seemed easy for Cas, he even bent down lower, flattening his hands on the ground, nearly making Dean grunt. Show-off. When he came up again, Castiel let his fingers dainty wander over his legs and torso, then stretched his arms over his head and bent backwards, letting his head fall back. It looked quite uncomfortable but he was holding this position for a while, then came back up and turned towards the CD player, kneeling down on one knee in front of it.

 

Dean watched him change the CDs, aware that Cas would see him if he turned towards the door, so he tried to appear as small as possible, barely one eye peeping into the room where Cas was now pushing the play button before he walked into the middle of the room, taking a pose with one foot flat on the ground, the other stretched out in front of him, while one arm was over his head, the other by his side. So he was going to dance? Dean shouldn’t watch, he knew that this would kill him, he knew that because his heart was already racing in his chest, his stomach was already making funny jolts when Cas concentrated on his reflection in the mirror, staring at himself as if he wanted his reflection to spill out his own darkest secrets. Oh, Dean would love to know them. The raven haired man seemed to reconsider and with swift movements he got rid of his shirt, throwing it next to the CD player and with a satisfied nod he went back to the middle of the room right when the music began.

 

The music was louder than before, it filled the whole space with a gentle melody and Dean instantly knew that he had heard it before on the radio in Sophie’s room. It was one of these pop songs she liked because the other kids at school listened to them as well but it made him proud that she always came back to listen AC/DC and Metallica with him. This one – he knew by coincidence – was named “Take Me To Church” and it was okay, really. Little did Dean know that it would become his favorite song within the next four minutes.

 

The intro started slowly, it was nothing Dean thought you could dance to but Castiel made a half pirouette before falling to the ground, flattening his back against the polished wood floor, his feet flat on the ground, stretched to no end, his legs looking so straight that it made Dean wonder if Cas was human even. No human could hold his body down like _this_. Every nerve in this lean body seemed at full attention, each muscle was strained, Dean could see their every move under Cas’ velvety and white skin when the man pulled his upper body up from the floor, slowly, sensually sitting up, his feet still pressed to the ground, legs slightly spread, his back arched in a graceful line, his chest gently heaving with each breath. Dean was already breathing heavier, he knew he should have left before it was too late but now he wasn’t able to tear his eyes away from the sight in front of him, they were glued to the – he had no other word for it – sensual movements of the ballet dancer who seemed lost in his own world.

 

Castiel was moving languidly to the slow rhythm, his body perfectly in sync with the music, each movement measured and well-placed. He was now standing up in one fluid motion, throwing one leg out behind him in the process, landing on both with expertly trained steps. Once he stood facing Dean, the mechanic could see a little tattoo on Castiel’s left side and stomach, some words that Dean couldn’t read from where he stood, he didn’t even try to because he would have to step closer or at least turn his head further into the room and he wouldn’t risk it though Castiel’s eyes were closed as he went on with slow, flowing moves that went so damn well with the music.

 

And then the refrain began and Castiel began to dance in earnest, using the momentum from one figure to rush into another, spiraling and pirouetting through the room, filling it with music and dance, making Dean gape in awe. The body of the dancer was all tense, Dean had never seen someone using each and every muscle to move but Cas just did and though it seemed like it was easy, Dean could see the concentration on the beautiful man’s face and a slight sheen of sweat that covered his torso as he bent and turned this way and that, presenting every part of him to the watcher’s eyes, his skin glistening in the dim light. Everything about Castiel was graceful, he was moving like Dean had never seen it before, it was new but so damn good! He couldn’t take his eyes off for just a second, he wanted to memorize every step the man took, he wanted to remember every pirouette, every movement that he didn’t have a name for. It wasn’t really necessary to give them a name – though he was sure every single step had one – because it was perfection, it was well trained and so pure and wonderful.

 

Dean’s heart was racing in his chest as he watched Cas fall to the ground in another slow part of the song and he pressed his hips off the floor, standing on the tips of his toes, holding his upper body upright with his shoulders only, his whole body arching delicately, evoking the dirtiest thoughts Dean had ever thought in his entire life. And that meant something! At least now he was totally sure that he wanted Cas, his body was telling him very clearly what he thought of what he saw but for the moment Dean didn’t give a damn, he watched Castiel push himself off the floor, jumping up from his lying position, landing on his feet as if it was nothing, his legs scissoring as he spun around and fell with his back against the wall, his arms spread, his chest heaving heavily, now. Fuck, this was hot.

 

When the next refrain began, Cas pushed himself off the wall, ran two steps, then made a huge jump that he perfectly stood at the other end of the room only to turn around, his arms raised in the air as he pirouetted back into the corner where this had started and with the repetition of the refrain he made something awesome: two steps before he pulled his left leg up high into the air, his other foot dragging over the floor as the momentum pulled him forwards and after two other steps he repeated this with his left leg, crossing the room within seconds. Dean was more than impressed by the strength of Castiel and the control he had over his body and again his mind kindly informed Dean where else this could be of good use. Shit, he was close to going in there to throw Cas onto the floor to have his way with him… But that would mean to interrupt the ballet dancer and he would be dumb if he did this.

 

Instead he stood and stared, the song came to an end slowly, Castiel made his last bolts into the air, turning around his axis as his body was nearly horizontal but he caught himself again, not even stumbling when he came down again and he didn’t even seem to make a sound. This was close to magic, Dean was sure, no normal human being could do things like this with his body. And here was his brain again, reminding him, what he would like to do with this body. The music got slower, Cas sat down on the ground, his legs spread wide apart and when the song came to an end his upper body was resting between them.

 

The dancer sat like that until the next song started. Dean didn’t know it and he didn’t care, he was still staring, still mostly hidden behind the doorframe, still painfully hard. Meanwhile Castiel had fallen onto his back, one arm draped over his eyes, his other limps spread apart, his chest heaving heavily. Dean wasn’t sure what he should do. He knew what he wanted to do but he didn’t swing this way, he was straight. ‘Yeah, getting all bothered while watching a ballet dancer is really the straightest thing you’ve ever done, Winchester.' Oh this bitchy little voice in his head again…

 

The next song stopped and it got utterly still in this room and the whole school. It made Dean panic and he grabbed Sophie’s stuffed animal close to his chest and ran for his car, getting in behind the wheel and driving off within a few seconds before Castiel could catch him and demand an answer. God, this would be a nightmare, it would fuel his interest in Dean even more and he couldn’t have it. ‘Why not?’ This voice was getting really annoying and Dean sped up the car. He could get a distance between Cas and himself but his rapidly beating heart and the wonderful images were still in his head and he would carry them home. Hopefully Sophie was already in bed and he could talk to Jo alone, he needed to get this off his mind, otherwise he wouldn’t sleep tonight. Well, he wasn’t sure how much sleep he was getting anyways after what he had just witnessed.

 

**+XxX+**

 

Dean was lucky, Sophie was already in her bed, her eyes small as Jo read a story to her in a silent voice. With Mr. Piggy in his arms he stood by the door, watching Sophie and Jo, wishing that his niece’s parents had never died. It should be Jessica sitting next to her bed and it should be Sam, standing in the middle of the room to admire his little family but fate was a cruel bitch and so it was his best friend reading to his foster child but somehow it was okay for the moment. He walked over to the bed, sitting down on the other side of it to give Sophie her animal and she happily surrounded him with her small arms, cuddling him to her chest.

 

“Thanks, Dean.” She smiled thankfully, then closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep even before finished the story. Their eyes met over the bed and Dean nodded towards the door.

 

“I need to talk to you.” He whispered before he bent down and kissed Sophie good night, pulling her covers up a bit higher, straightening them with his hands while his thoughts were running of again, back to his little girl’s ballet school where he had seen the most erotic thing and he was sure that he wouldn’t forget it so easily. Jo was already by the door when Dean followed her and she closed it silently to sneak down the stairs and into the kitchen with Dean tailing behind her.

 

“What happened, Winchester?” She asked in a stern voice and folded her arms over her chest, eying her friend closely as he grabbed a beer from the fridge and opened it. Where did you begin something like this? Hell, he was questioning his whole damn sexuality just because of one man he found attractive and he wasn’t sure what Jo would say and what she would think about him later. To buy himself some time, he took a huge gulp from the bottle.

 

“I told you about the ballet classes that Sophie takes, now?” Jo rolled her eyes.

 

“Yes, and if you hadn’t, Sophie would. She talks about nothing else. I think you made a good choice there.” She laughed and Dean nodded with a smile. “But why do you want to talk about her ballet classes? Does it bother you? You masculinity even?” She asked and laughed but Dean really didn’t feel like it. It wasn’t the ballet classes that questioned his masculinity but that he was slowly falling for another man.

 

“Kind of.” He said darkly and took another gulp from his beer. Jo let her fists rest on her hips, eying him with suspicion. “Her teacher… his name’s Castiel.” Dean began to play with the bottle, turning it over and over in his hands, pondering how he should say what he was about to say but he didn’t find the right words and so he decided to just get it out: “He flirts with me.” There, he said it but something on Jo’s face told him that  she didn’t understand fully.

 

“So just tell him you’re straight and he’ll stop.” She said with a shrug but Dean still didn’t look up into her eyes, playing with his bottle again, looking everywhere but her face.

 

“I think I might be…curious?” That wasn’t right. If he was just curious how it would be to sleep with a man he would do it and store his experiences to go on like before but the more he thought about it, the surer he got that he was actually interested in Castiel, in his person and not just his body. Well, his body was gorgeous, no question but it wasn’t the only thing Dean wanted. In the last days he had thought over it all and he had imagined Cas living with him and Sophie, it would feel good to not be alone and have him by his side but then again, he couldn’t do this to Sophie.

 

“Curious?” Jo asked? “How so?“

 

“I don’t know. I like the way he flirts with me, it’s open and he doesn’t leave room for doubts. Maybe he does this with all of the few men who bring their children over, maybe I’m just desperate and tired of being alone but… I saw him tonight when I got Sophie’s toy back for her.” Dean added and Jo’s face would have been hilarious if he hadn’t been so preoccupied with himself

 

“Did you? Was he there and you two…?”

 

“Oh fuck, Jo, what do you think of me?” He said with a shocked note to his voice. If Cas had approached him after his dance he didn’t know if he would have stopped him… “No, I saw him. He was still there and he was dancing and… Jo, you haven’t seen something like this before, his body is so well toned and he looked so peaceful while he was dancing. He hasn’t seen me, I have grabbed Mr. Piggy and ran away before he could but it will haunt me into my dreams, I’m sure.”  
  
“Yeah, and I’m sure it will be wet dreams, huh?” Jo asked with a raised eyebrow but she seemed to take this serious.

 

“Guess so…” Dean mumbled, not even trying to deny it and that was what finally convinced Jo that this was of great importance to her friend.

 

“So… why don’t you try it? Date him, get to know him and if you really like him…”

 

“I can’t!” Dean blurted out. “What about little Sophie?”

 

“What about her?” Jo asked and seemed honestly puzzled with this question.

 

“She has already lost her parents, she can’t have a gay uncle and live with two men to raise her. That’s just… not good for a child her age.” Dean blurted out and saw that something clicked to place in Jo’s head.

 

“You’re not afraid that you might be gay, right? The Dean Winchester I know would be just fine with it, he wouldn’t care what others would think, right? Just screw them and their narrow minds” His green eyes got large as she went on. “You’re afraid because of Sophie. This is really sweet, Dean, but c’mon… If there are two people who love her, who cares if they’re male or female?” Of course the blonde woman was right and Dean knew but he was so damn scared that it would make everything harder for the girl.

 

“I want her happy. I need to be straight and if I find a woman someday it will be normal and nobody would ask her stupid questions.” It got really quiet in the kitchen after this comment, both lost in their own thoughts as they thought it all over.

  
“You need to be happy, Dean.” Jo said after a while and came over, her hand resting on his arm. “Sophie is a smart child, she will be tolerant and she will teach that to whoever might mock her because of her two “daddies”.” The man looked down at the floor, defeated. “Hey. You don’t even know what will happen. Maybe you don’t even like that guy at all, you don’t really know him yet. Don’t think about it. What will be will be, right?” She was so damn right. The sight of a beautiful man had made his hormones run berserk and fogged his thoughts but hearing a second opinion really helped.

 

“You think I should try it?”

 

“I don’t know. He could be a psycho, so be careful.” A wink. “But you never know when you meet someone.” Perhaps she was right but something in Dean still refused to let it happen to himself as if it was a choice who you liked and who not. A part of him was always aware that you do not have a choice from time to time but he still had to use his head when he made decisions, he wasn’t alone any longer, he had Sophie to care for and Dean wanted to make sure that she grew up in a better way than he did and he would sacrifice his own happiness to make sure of it. With a sigh he took another swig of his beer, emptying the bottle.

 

“Thanks, Jo.” He said. A plan was already forming in his head, he had to forget about Castiel, he would go out tomorrow and stick to his plan, he wouldn’t do this to Sophie, he would be normal for her and he would make sure that she had a normal life as well.

 

**TBC**

 

 


	4. First Try

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean goes into a bar to distract himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments and kudos! It really makes me happy to know that you like this story.

CHAPTER 4

 

The bar was dark, Dean knew it well and therefore he had chosen it. Some girls didn’t even want to go home with the guys, they just pulled them into a dark corner for some fun and maybe Dean was able to get both to ban the images of blue eyes, black hair and a lean, well-muscled body out of his head. It was torture to always think about someone, Dean had never experienced this before, he had never been interested in a long lasting relationship and he had never thought about it if he wanted someone he loved or not. The question just never arose but lately he was wondering if he wouldn’t be better off if he had a woman by his side. Most likely because he was getting old… But for tonight he had other plans. He was sitting at a table in the back of the bar, the music was loud here, covering moans very well, and he was already looking around if there was some nice target.

 

There was a black haired woman in her mid-twenties a few tables over and she glanced his way from time to time, making sure her long black hair curled down nicely over her shoulders and that he could have a good look into her shirt. Yeah, well, that he had but she just wasn’t as beautiful as Castiel and Dean wished that she had blue eyes to match her midnight black hair. And her body wasn’t moving as gracefully as Cas’, it wasn’t what Dean was looking for. Damn, did he really just think this? He needed another drink, waving the waitress over with a wink and a nod towards his empty glass and she hurried to bring him another Whiskey.

 

She was cute as well, red hair, tight shirt, green eyes like his own and she just wasn’t Castiel, so Dean let her go without a flirty remark, feeling even more frustrated than before. Castiel wasn’t the only person in this world and he would find someone who was just as attractive as him. More so even, because said person would be a woman and Dean wanted nothing. But. Women! He took a sip from his Whiskey and let the golden liquid run down his throat, again not taking care of his thoughts that already showed him Castiel again.

 

Now, Dean was wondering why he thought about that man so often, if he was kind of obsessed with him. Surely Castiel didn’t think about him that much, maybe he was just flirting with him when he was there, Dean doubted that someone could have an interest in him that surpassed one night… It had never been different and it had never really bothered him but it arose the question if he was someone you wanted by your side for the rest of his life. Dean sighed, taking another sip from his Whiskey, hoping that the alcohol would kick in soon so that he wouldn’t think about his life too much. It didn’t help him to get a woman into his bed, so it was just a waste of time.

 

But he couldn’t run from his thoughts, they haunted him and he needed three more glasses of Whiskey to feel at least something. He hadn’t found a girl, yet but now he was getting up from his table, sitting around wasn’t how it worked and when he needed another glass, he walked over to the bar and ordered it from the barkeeper. From here he had a better view and he was already checking if he could see some nice hips and boobs from here. With his glass in his hand he turned around, leaning against the bar. The glass nearly fell from Dean’s hand when he saw Cas a few tables over to his left and he groaned loudly, thankful that the music was louder than the noise he just made. This wasn’t true, was it? Before he could think closer about it, Dean watched another man sit down at the dancer’s table. He was short with messy blonde hair and a smirk on his face as he leant towards Castiel and whispered something into the raven haired man’s ear, making him laugh.

 

That should have been it. Dean should look away and go on with his chase, he should find a woman for the night, he shouldn’t stand here, feeling a green snake coil in his stomach, he shouldn’t be jealous. Damn, why did Cas have to be here as well and why was this man hitting on him when Castiel had flirted with him so shamelessly only yesterday? It bothered Dean that he felt that way because he couldn’t let this happen. Little Sophie needed a decent home, she didn’t need an uncle who dated a man, it would be just weird and confuse her to no end if she saw them together, right? Or was Jo right? God, this was so damn confusing, Dean wanted to get out of here, he needed air to breathe and suddenly the bar felt too crowded and too loud for him. With another frustrated look towards Castiel and the blonde man who was still whispering into his ear, he leaned his head back to swallow his Whiskey down in one go, slamming the glass down on the bar before he turned to make his way out of here. It had been a stupid idea to get here in the first place. At least he was drunk now.

 

There were many people in this bar and it was annoying to push your way through it, but Dean made it and he had nearly reached the door when he felt a hand landing on his shoulder that held him in a firm grip, preventing him from leaving.

 

“Hello Dean.” A deep voice drawled into his ear, the other man was so close that he could feel the hot breath tickle his shell and he shivered lightly at the sensation. Damn, he hadn’t been fast enough and now he had to face the one person on this planet that he wished to avoid more than any other. For a second he wanted to panic but then he suppressed it, turning around to look into those ocean blue eyes that looked at him with a charming smile.

 

“Hey Cas.” Dean croaked, very well aware that the man could see the confusion because he wasn’t able to hide it from his face. This was also new… “Erm… I saw you at your table and I think you should better go back to your date and not let him wait longer than necessary.” That sounded great, this would surely convince Castiel to leave Dean alone, but the dancer just threw his head back and laughed heartily. Dean couldn’t help but just plainly stare at his long neck that was also covered in dark scruff and he wondered what it would feel like to nose his way down that neck to bite into this deliciously well developed spot where his neck met his shoulder and what noise he would make while Dean did this. Oh fuck, he was screwed, he was so curious, not knowing if he would ever let the man go if he got to know him closer. They could just be friends, right? ‘No. You want him.’ Obviously he hadn’t downed enough alcohol to silence that bloody voice in his head.

 

“He’s not a date.” Castiel threw a nervous look back towards his table, Dean’s eyes following his gaze over the dancer’s shoulder, seeing Gabriel giving him a thumbs up. What the fuck…? “That’s my brother. Gabriel.” Cas said and Dean could actually see the blush rising into his cheeks as he turned blue eyes back towards green, obviously not liking what his brother just did. “He dragged me here to…” Cas searched for the right words. “Distract me?” It sounded more like a question and Dean was curious why he needed to be distracted and from what. “He desperately wants me to get laid and if you could just play along and leave this place with me, I would be forever grateful.” He made a pleading face in Dean’s direction and the mechanic wasn’t able to deny him his wish and nodded. “Thanks Dean.” Cas mumbled, then his hand wandered to the small of Dean’s back, resting there to lead the slightly taller man out of the bar, waving at his brother in the process who made an inappropriate gesture with his tongue in his mouth… Dean groaned again, rolling his eyes but he left with Castiel by his side without another word.

 

The fresh and cold air was very welcome to Dean’s lungs, he took a few deeps breaths as he and Cas walked onto the parking lot towards the black Impala, never letting go of the man in his arms until they stood in front of it.

 

“God, Gabriel is such a nuisance when it comes to my sex life. I don’t even know why he’s so damn interested in it, on the other hand I’m glad when I don’t have to hear about his.” Castiel finally let his hands fall to his sides again, making Dean miss his warmth already. “So… What about we look for another bar? One without my brother in it. Maybe a game of pool?” Dean knew he shouldn’t say yes, he knew that he should keep away from this man for Sophie’s sake.

 

“Why not?” He heard himself say instead, not knowing where it came from. He was a little afraid to spent time alone with Cas because he really didn’t know what he would do. Dean could so very well remember the way he had seen him dancing yesterday and what it had done to him and more important: what it had made him want to do with Castiel.

 

“Fine.” Cas beamed, pulling his trench coat a little tighter around his shoulders. It was cold tonight and o Dean opened up the car so they could get inside. “I was already looking forward to take a ride in gorgeous car.” He said as he closed his seat belt, his eyes turned towards Dean, not noticing that he made the man nervous beyond belief.

 

“Yeah, she’s a real stunner. She once belonged to my dad but he abandoned her, never drove her any longer and so I had a lot of work to do to get her back to life.” He grinned, this topic was definitely helping him, he loved cars, especially this one and he loved to talk about her as well.

 

“You did a great job.” Cas said and let his hand glide over the radio, pushing the button to turn it on in the process. Instantly Metallica came on and Cas leaned back in his seat to close his eyes, humming along to the sound of ‘Enter Sandman’. “I knew this was your kind of music. You’re definitely the classic rock type, you know?” His blue eyes turned back towards Dean with a huge smile. “I like it.” They stared into each others eyes for a moment, Cas sitting with his hands folded in his lap and Dean with his hands on the wheel, not able to say a word. Damn, what was this man doing to him? The tingle in his stomach had grown worse when Cas had made compliments on his car and music taste and Dean wasn’t sure how much more he could take before losing his mind completely.  “Don’t you want to drive us to a place where we can play pool?” Cas added innocently, his full light pink lips pulling up into a mocking grin.

 

“Yes.” Dean breathed, starting his car and slowly driving them off the parking lot, away from the bar that had sealed his fate tonight. There was a pool bar near to the ballet school, he had seen it on his way there and so Dean drove in this direction.

 

“You’ve restored this car on your own?” Cas asked and really sounded interested.

 

“Yes. I’ve always loved to repair them, it feels great when they run again in the end. When I was at school I was working in the garage of a family friend from time to time and when I finished school, Bobby hired me as an employee. He’s like a second father to me and right now Sophie is with him. That’s the closest thing to a grandfather she knows and Bobby loves the little girl a lot. So, yeah… I grew up around cars and I still work in the garage.” Dean said, feeling completely at ease now that they had found a safe topic to talk about.

 

“Wow, that’s great. I know where I can re-fill oil. That’s all I know about cars, guess I never had someone to show me how they work and how I can work on them. And I was always a little obsessed with ballet dancing, I didn’t even have time for other things.” Now it was Dean’s turn to get curious.

 

“When did you begin to dance?” He wanted to know, equally curious about Cas’ life as the dancer seemed about his.

 

“I was as old as Sophie but it wasn’t as easy for me as it was for her.” There was so much sadness in his voice that Dean looked over for a second to make sure that he wasn’t crying. “I told my mum that I wanted to dance but she just laughed at me and said that just girls dance and as I’m a boy I should play football or baseball or whatever she found appropriate. So I didn’t take classes in the beginning, but a girl from our neighborhood went to classes and she taught me what she had learnt when she came back.” Cas smiled a little. “I think she liked being a teacher. She said that I was doing well and one day she took me to her own teacher and made me dance for her. I think I was convincing because she took me in without my parents knowing about it because she saw my talent. Guess I owe her a lot of money because it worked out for a few years, my parents never knew, they thought I was out playing with Lilly – the neighbor’s girl.”

 

“Did your parents learn about it?” Dean wanted to know and Cas nodded slowly, his eyes glued to his hands in his lap.

 

“When I was eight they found out and I was forbidden to leave the house without my older brother. Gabriel. He was twelve then and he said that he would accompany me to the ballet classes if I would keep silent. And so I kept silent, we went there together and I think he was actually proud when he saw me dancing for the first time. I really loved it and I owe him a lot because he did this for me. When I was fifteen, Gabriel moved out after he had come out to my parents. They never saw him again after he told them that he was together with a boy from his high school. I went to the classes and competitions, hoping that my parents would never find out but in the end they did. Of course they weren’t too happy about it and when I turned eighteen I moved out as well. From there on it got better, I could take classes whenever I wanted, I was taking part in a few minor productions on stage and I even earned some money from it until two years later a talent hunter saw me and made me move to Los Angeles. I earned good money in these years and I really loved dancing. It’s like breathing to me.” Dean had parked the car a few minutes ago but they both were reluctant to get out of it. “I had a boyfriend while I was in Los Angeles and somehow my parents found out about it. The last time I saw my mum, she told me that I was an abomination… I don’t even know why I came back to Lawrence to give ballet classes. It’s kind of weird, but someday I had this idea and came back here. Most likely because I was dumped by that guy and wanted to get as far away from him as possible.” Cas laughed a little but Dean could still feel that he felt hurt. “I haven’t seen my parents again, though they still live here. But Gabriel and I are close. It’s good to have someone to talk to.”

 

“I kind of know how it feels.” Dean says, making Cas look into his direction, blue eyes troubled as they lock with green ones. “My mother died when I was a kid and Sam was a baby. My dad drank, not really caring about us, it was simply too much for him. He still lives here but I rarely only see him. It’s strange but most of the time I’m okay with it.”

 

“Me, too. I don’t think they’re good parents if they forget about their children just because life doesn’t go the way they planned. Hell, my own life didn’t go the way I planned it but here I am and it’s fine.” His smile got a little brighter while they still looked at each other, Dean simply unable to pull his gaze away from these mesmerizing blue pools in front of him. Speaking of pools….

 

“Shall we go inside?” He asked and motioned towards the bar. Cas nodded and followed Dean out of the car into the bar that was much less crowded then the one they just came from and the pool tables in the back were nearly deserted, so they headed over to one of them, ordering their drinks when the waitress came to get their order. Dean stuck to Whiskey and Cas ordered a beer before they positioned the pool balls on the table to play. Dean lifted the triangle and handed Cas the cue. “You break.” He said and Cas nodded, walking over to begin the game.

 

They played a long while, all the time talking about their pasts and whatever topic they stumbled across and Dean was glad that he had agreed to play some pool with Castiel, he really liked him and they never even encountered an awkward silence, just chatting as if they knew each other for year already. In the end Castiel won and Dean was more than a little bit surprised because he played pool since he was a teenager, making money from it since about the same time. The dancer grinned at him, twirling the cue in his hand, leaning over the table towards Dean.

 

“You didn’t see this coming, did you?” No, Dean hadn’t but at the moment he was busy looking at Cas’ handsome features, drinking in the sight before him: blue eyes sparkled under long black lashes and pink lips curved in a sly smile that made Dean want to kiss them. He knew that it was the alcohol that made him a bit more uninhibited towards Castiel. He walked over to the man, standing way too close to him, green eyes never breaking contact with blues.

 

“No. Seems like you are not just good at dancing, huh?” He mocked and Cas held his head up higher, still grinning over his whole face.

 

“You don’t even know if I’m good at dancing.” He answered and placed the cue on the table, getting it out of the way between Dean and him.

 

“Oh, yes I know and it was really great.” Dean said, not noticing his mistake before it was too late. That was when Castiel took a step back, scanning Dean’s face closely, searching for any signs that this was a joke.

  
“Giving ballet classes can hardly be considered dancing.” He tried carefully and saw that it made Dean more than nervous. Said man’s heart was thundering in his chest and he was sure that Cas could hear it, even over the chatting in the bar and the music. He felt trapped and for a second he didn’t know what to do, deciding that it was probably the best to spill it out now better than later.

 

“I’ve seen you dancing.” He whispered, his eyes cast towards the floor. “Just yesterday.” Cas’ brows furrowed and he shook his head, not believing what Dean was saying.

 

“No. You took Sophie and ran away after her lesson, not even giving me the chance to talk to you again. I thought I got the message right then but here you are, spending your free evening with me.” Actually it was already late at night but Dean didn’t bother to make Cas aware of this fact. Something clicked into place in Dean’s head as he said that.

 

“Your brother didn’t drag you out because of me, right?” A sad smile followed these words and it broke Dean’s heart to find it on Castiel’s face.

 

“Don’t change the subject. When did you see me dance?”  
  
“Sophie forgot Mr. Piggy. She took it to your school. She can’t sleep without him and so I agreed to see if I could get him and I found him. I never meant to spy on you, I knew it wasn’t okay but…” Now Dean looked up into Cas’ eyes, smiling a little. “It was awesome what you did. I thought ballet was cute and delicate, all about small women turning on the tips of her toes but when I saw you I knew it was about strength and control, it…” Tuned him on but he bit his tongue before it spilled out of his mouth. He wasn’t _that_ drunk.

 

“So you came to take the stuffed animal. I knew it…” Cas said. “I felt someone watching me but I knew you wouldn’t want me to notice you.”

 

“I’m not into men.” Dean said softly, hoping to find acceptance in Cas. “But it was great to see you dancing and I think I wanna see it again.”

 

“We can go over, Dean. I can dance for you again.” Castiel offered, ignoring Dean’s first comment but the mechanic had definitely seen a reaction in those blue eyes. He gulped when he thought about the offer and about the reaction his body had showed the last time he had seen Cas dance.

 

“Okay.” Was his answer thought everything in him screamed ‘no’ knowing that it would be too much, that it would drive him mad. They paid their bill, leaving the bar within a few minutes and Castiel lead him over to the ballet school, not through the main entrance but one in the back so that they wouldn’t raise suspicion if somebody saw them.

 

“I come here often when I cannot sleep.” Castiel said, his voice a little distant. “What you saw was an old choreography but I thought it went along well with that song and so I tried it.” Dean silently followed him into the room where he had seen Cas yesterday and he watched as the man put the CD into the player, searching for the song but pausing it before it began. “I cannot dance like this in a jeans.” He said and slowly let the trench coat glide off his shoulders so that it pooled around his ankles. Dean stared. His mouth was slightly open, he couldn’t believe that this was actually happening though he knew Castiel was right that he couldn’t dance in his normal clothes but there wasn’t a bag here, just the shoes next to the CD player, so what did he have in mind? The raven haired opened the buttons on his shirt, letting it fall off his shoulders as well to let it join his coat, then he opened the belt and slid it out of the loops. It wasn’t like he was teasing Dean on purpose, he didn’t move slow or especially seductive, he just got rid of the things that would just tear apart when he wore them while dancing.

 

Finally Cas was just wearing his tight black boxers and Dean’s eyes slid down over the tattoo on Cas’ side again, curious what it meant because he couldn’t decipher the symbols. Before Dean could mouth his question, Cas was sitting down, sliding his feet into the shoes.

 

“Just stay here so I won’t bump into you and hurt you.” Castiel said, standing way too close to Dean, his hot breath ghosting over his face. The mechanic nodded obediently, watching Cas walk into the middle of the room where he took the stance Dean already knew,. “Turn on he music.” Again Dean obeyed and the song started playing and Castiel started dancing. It was different to watch him now, because Castiel knew that he was there. In the beginning Dean didn’t know where to look at, Cas’ movements were so damn distracting, he made it even more sensual than the last time, his whole body displayed for Dean to see while he did it.

 

The blonde was glued to the spot, his eyes followed Castiel’s every movement and this time the man had his eyes open, locking them with Dean’s whenever possible and this time he was definitely teasing the other man, swaying his hips this way and that more purposefully, knowing that Dean’s eyes would land on them. This was torture. Holy shit, Dean was _so_ going to do something stupid tonight and even if he had said that he wasn’t gay, damn, he didn’t care, he wanted Cas!

 

When the song was over, Castiel fell onto his back like he had yesterday, he was breathing heavily and Dean couldn’t tear his eyes away from the sight in front of him. He switched the music off and walked over to Cas, standing above him, one foot on either side of the man, panting as he stared down into baby blue eyes that drew him in.

 

“Don’t, Dean.” Castiel whispered but the mechanic couldn’t hold himself back, he fell to his knees, straddling Cas where he was lying on the floor like he had imagined to do the last time he had watched him. Dean let his hands rest left and right of Cas’ head, staring at him in awe, knowing that it was too late to hold himself back. “I cannot stop you.” Was whispered against Dean’s lips as he came closer and he was well aware of the fact that Castiel himself wouldn’t find the strength to push Dean away because he wanted this as well. Hell, he had started it in the first place.

 

Their lips crushed together in a heated kiss that was instantly all tongue and licking, both men desperate to get a taste of the other  as muffled moans escaped into their mouths. Dean was feeling Cas' stubble against his own and he thought that it was really nice to feel that, it was good. His brain shut down only a second later when Cas sucked his tongue into his mouth, stroking it with his own, earning a gasp from the man above him. Castiel tasted like honey, his lips were sweet and soft as they moved against his, expertly devouring Dean thoroughly. 

 

“Fuck, Cas...” Dean breathed when they came apart for air, not able to say a coherent sentence, his hands shaking as they glided into black hair to pull Castiel in for another kiss that equally turned their brains to nothing but mush.  The dancer's hands clawed at Dean's back, he was already pushing his jacket off, needing to feel Dean's naked skin against his own chest and so his fingers grabbed at the hem of his shirt to pull it off of the man. They had to stop kissing for a second when Cas pulled the shirt over Dean's head and the mechanic gave a – totally manly of course! - whimper, diving down as soon as his upper body was naked, lowering himself onto Castiel's naked chest, both men moaning loudly at the sensation of skin on skin before they went on kissing like drowning men.

 

Dean growled deep in his chest when Cas' hands glided down his back and into the waist line of his jeans, deftly grabbing his round ass in his hands, digging his nails in. Cas massaged him gently, enjoying Dean's trembling above him. When the mechanic let his hips roll lazily against Castiel's, the raven haired man broke their endless kiss and let his head fall back against the floor to look into Dean's lust-blown eyes, his pupils were dilated, the green nearly completely gone. He was panting heavily, his lips redder and fuller than before from their mind blowing kisses. Castiel  was an equally destroyed sight, Dean wasn't sure how he had been able to resist this man yesterday when he had seen him alone. His hair was ruffled, his blue eyes wide and his lips full and even more kissable than before.

 

“We should stop, Dean.” Cas mumbled but the man ignored him, trying to steal another kiss. “You told me you wouldn't swing this way.” He insisted when their lips parted again. “Don't do this to me, Dean, please don't.” Castiel breathed and closed his eyes to hide the pain in them.

 

“What? Why?” Dean was completely puzzled, he didn't know why he should stop, now that they had gone so far already.

 

“You're drunk.” Cas said, his eyes still screwed shut. He hated himself that he wanted to end this but he just couldn't do this to someone who would never want to see him again after. “I want this to be good for you. And I want to see you again. I don't want you to hate me or yourself. You're not gay, you don't want me and if you're just curious I'm the wrong person... Because I think I'm one of those guys who only sleeps with people I really like.” Dean got what Cas was saying but he just couldn't bring himself to get up from above Castiel. He wanted him and he wanted him badly and if it wasn't so damn complicated with his little baby girl at home, he would  _ so  _ become gay for Cas. Now, he was just confused and more than torn.

 

“Damn, you're sweet, Cas.” Dean said and kissed the side of the other man's mouth, licking his way down to his chin. “I want you so.” Cas gave a deep, shaky breath, he knew he would give in because he just couldn't let the chance slip to do this, he was only human and a very aroused human at the moment. He stared at Dean for a few seconds. Seconds in which Dean's heart was nearly falling apart, he wouldn't be able to deal with rejection right now, feeling vulnerable and lost. That wouldn't happen if he just wanted to fuck this man and walk away. It didn't even sound right in his head, he wouldn't just fuck this man, he would sleep with him. It was sweeter, more gentle and exactly what Dean wanted and needed. He gasped when he realized that he had already gone way too far, he was already falling for Cas.

 

The ballet dancer saw Dean's struggle and it rung a string in his heart so that he grabbed the man's face to pull him into a kiss that was slow and sensual, he was taking his time stealing Dean's breath and the mechanic was close to forgetting who he was when Castiel turned them around, his movements like when he was dancing: sharp and precise, flowing and smoothly and in the end he was lying above Dean, pressing him to the ground with his lean body, holding his wrists down to the floor while their lips were still locked in this wonderful kiss. It was different than the previous kisses, not hungry but nearly loving. Such kisses were even better and it made Dean melt under Castiel, giving in to whatever he had in his mind.

 

“Relax, Dean.” Cas whispered, his lips wandering over to his ear, gently biting into the lobe, his teeth causing just a little pain that was wonderful and made Dean's toes curl. He wanted more of these sensations, it was intoxicating. “I'll make you feel good.”

 

“Oh God, Cas...” With a moan Dean let his head fall against the floor, closing his eyes as Castiel kissed his way down his neck towards his shoulder, his tongue sometimes lapping out to taste the salty skin. It was rough, Dean could feel it's every move and little kitten nip, the sensations were highlighted by the alcohol that was running through his system and it was good because it made him _feel_ what Cas did to him so very intense. His back arched off the floor when Cas' mouth reached his left nipple, softly circling it with this wicked little tongue, sucking it into his mouth until Dean was a panting mess in front of him. When Cas went on to the other nipple, Dean was completely lost, this was Heaven, it felt so good, Castiel obviously knew what he was doing.

 

Swift fingers made their way towards Dean's belt buckle, opening it to pull it out of the loops while his lips kissed their way along the waistline of his jeans.

 

“Cas... Cas...” Dean was chanting the dancer's name over and over again, it fell from his lips like a desperate prayer and he was praying for more of this man, he wanted everything, his heart and his soul, he wanted that it belonged to him. His fingers wandered into pitch black hair, massaging Castiel's scalp with his fingertips, losing him from his grasp when he sat up to pull Dean's jeans down his thighs, leaving him only in his boxers, wishing that these were gone as well. Castiel played with the hem of his boxers but he sat up again, sitting on Dean's lap to spread his long fingers on his chest and stomach, admiring his view.

 

“You're beautiful, Dean.” He said, lost in the sight in front of him. Dean opened his eyes to look up and there was something like shock on his face when he heard these voice and a breath was torn from his lips. With a smile Castiel crawled back, pulling Dean's boxers down his legs, then lying between them, grabbing the man's hips, deftly sinking his nails into the soft flesh as he hold him down to kiss the inside of his thighs, making him buck already under his kisses. “Shhh... I got you.” He muttered, his lips merely inches apart from Dean's throbbing length. Castiel looked up his body, his huge blue eyes locking with Dean's grassy green's as he closed his lips around the tip, smiling when Dean groaned and fell back against the floor, unable to hold himself up any longer.

 

The dancer was skilled, his tongue worked his way down the underside of the shaft, his lips closing when he went back up to suck Dean in as deep as he would go, holding his hips down as he wanted to thrust into the warmth that was swallowing him whole.

 

“Ah, fuck, _Cas!_ ” Dean's body was trembling, the muscles in in his stomach clenching as his back arched off the floor, his knees coming up as he tried to process the pleasure that ran through his body like poison. Castiel worked his head slowly up and down, making a perfect hole with his mouth and it felt so damn good to feel him, Dean was close to completely falling apart under him, his fingers in black hair again, not guiding Cas or holding him down, just caressing his head in the gentlest way.

 

He knew that he wouldn't last long, not when Cas was making him feel so damn good and when said man added his hands to massage the base while licking and sucking the tip in movements that were perfectly in sync.

 

“Cas, Cas, I can't... I'm gonna – oh God, Cas!” A scream followed this incoherent sentence and his body writhed beneath Castiel as Dean came in long spurts down the other man's throat and he eagerly swallowed everything, licking Dean through it gently, letting go only when he was lying on the floor limply, his chest heaving with each breath he took. Cas lay down, spreading himself over Dean's body to kiss him languidly. It wasn't even the slightest bit strange that Dean could taste himself on Castiel, on the contrary: it meant that he had marked him, his scent was all over the dancer. “Woah... this was great.” They smiled at each other, both lost in their own thoughts when Castiel slid down to lie next to Dean and the man could feel Cas' hardness press into his hips.

 

“Dean.” He moaned and the mechanic found it more than exiting even though he was thoroughly exhausted. He let his hand wander over the bulge in Cas' boxers, relishing in the sound that escaped the dancer's lips and the little tremble that went through his gorgeous body.

 

“Come home with me!” He said and Castiel sat up to stare at him wide eyed, his mouth opening and closing but not saying a word. “Sophie's with Bobby. She won't be back before late afternoon.” He gently tugged Cas' length through the fabric between it and his hand, smiling when the man moaned for him. “I wanna return that favor. Don't say no.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“More than I've ever been, Cas.”

 

**TBC**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoy writing this story. Hope you like it as well!


	5. Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean takes Cas home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erm... maybe this one is a little PWP. My apologies!
> 
> And thank you for your comments. They make me really happy :)

CHAPTER 5

 

Their lips were locked as they stumbled into Dean’s house, Castiel was reluctant to break the kiss for just a second, he feared that if he let go of Dean, the man might change his mind and throw him out. The dancer was very well aware that this was what would happen the next morning, when Dean was sober again and found a man in his bed, shocked about what he had done. But he was too weak to hold himself back, he was too drunk himself to listen to that little voice that reasoned with him in the back of his head, shutting it out to enjoy what was happening at the moment without caring about the future. Dean could break his heart, Cas knew that it would hurt but here he was, slamming Dean against the wall, kissing him fervently.

 

Dean didn’t have such doubts, he was all instinct by now, letting his head fall back against the wall to give Cas better access to his neck. All he wanted was here with him, he wasn’t thinking about anything at the moment, just enjoying and letting  g o completely.  Cas' body pushed him against the wall, he was clinging to his neck like the dancer was his anchor to reality, pressing him even closer as their kiss deepened once the door was closed behind them. Dean whimpered into the others mouth as Cas raised his knee to gently nudge his erection with it, grinning into the kiss as his hand slid into Dean's hair and the other down his back, one finger tracing just beneath the waistline of his pants.

 

Dean would never have thought that the other man would take the lead in this, he seemed so shy and inhibited when you saw him at the ballet school but obviously Dean had judged him wrong. His head banged back against the wall as Cas kissed his way down his neck, his rough tongue licking over Dean's collarbones.

 

“I won't stop, Dean, if you don't end this right here and now.” He warned, giving the mechanic one last chance to escape, locking his lust blown blue eyes with Dean's green ones that were equally dilated.

 

“I want you, Cas.” Dean breathed, his hands caressing raven black hair, relishing in the beauty of Castiel's face as they stared at each other. For a second he thought that the dancer was going to speak again but he decided against it, coming down to cover Dean's lips with his own again, unable to resist this man.

 

They were already shedding clo th es on the way to Dean's bedroom: Castiel's coat fell off his shoulders right behind the door, Dean's heavy leather jacket following a few steps later by the door of the living room. They were walking slowly, still kissing and touching whatever they could reach and when they reached Dean's bedroom, Cas had him pressed up against the doorframe, pinning him down as he pulled Dean's shirt over his head, shedding his own just a second later so that they would feel skin on skin, hands restlessly wandering over newly exposed flesh.  Cas' fingers tickled down Dean's sides to rest on his hips, holding their bodies as close together as possible, loving the warmth that radiated from the mechanic. 

 

They stopped kissing to lock eyes again, Cas' intense gaze nearly driving Dean insane. It was as if this man could stare right down into the very core of his soul, exposing him, making him vulnerable and the weirdest part about it was that Dean didn't even care, it was just fine with him to open up to Castiel.

 

Dean had forgotten the time, he just stood there, staring, but Cas' hands were moving again, his fingers coming up to circle Dean's nipples, smiling when the man shivered under his touches. The fingers wandered down a strong chest and well-muscled stomach, leaving goosebumps in their wake as they traveled around his navel, making him pant and moan with desire.

 

“Cas...” Dean whispered, there was nothing on his mind, just this man and his name, he was so lost already, so forlorn under his hands and kisses that he wasn't even sure if he had ever felt such pleasure while being with a woman. His hips trembled when Castiel opened the button of his jeans and pulled his zipper down teasingly slow, watching him with his hungry eyes all the time and Dean wondered how he was even able to hold his gaze.

 

“Shhh. Hush Dean.” Cas whispered and pulled his jeans and boxers down his longs legs, getting up again with his hand on his throbbing member, stroking him mercilessly. “I'll make you scream soon enough.” It took all of Dean's strength to not come right then and there as Cas spoke these wonderfully arousing words. He believed it. He was close to losing his mind already and sure as hell Cas would keep his promise. Thank God they were alone in this house right now.

 

Castiel turned Dean around to walk him back towards his bed, the naked man sighing into yet another devouring kiss. Where ha d the dancer learned to do such wicked things with his tongue? It was downright scary how he was able to turn Dean's brains to mush within just a few strokes of this rough thing, it felt incredibly good to be kissed like this while being manhandled through his own bedroom. Dean never knew that it would feel so great to be dominated by another man, it turned him on even more that Castiel used his strength on him.

 

With a push from those strong arms Dean fell back against the bed, falling onto the mattress, looking up at the angel in front of him, already missing the close contact. Cas wore the sweetest smile when he pulled off his own jeans and boxers, standing gloriously naked in front of the bed, looking down at Dean like a predator  would look at his pray. Fuck, the dancer was so damn hot,  so beautiful to look at and the smile that grew on his face was so reassuring that all fears and doubts in Dean evaporated and he opened his arms when the other crawled onto the bed and covered Dean' body with his own, still smiling brightly, his eyes shining with trust and affection.

 

“You're so beautiful, Dean.” He whispered and placed feather light kisses all over his face, breathing them onto his skin like little promises. This wasn't something you did when with a one night stand, Dean realized and he wanted this to last, he wanted Cas for more than one night, he wanted him in his life and by his side, looking at him whenever it was possible.

 

“Are you sure?” Cas asked, again showing concern and it melted the mechanic's heart. He grabbed Castiel's face with both his hands, his thumbs caressing the stubble on his cheeks. 

 

“Yes, I'm sure.” He hooked his leg around the dancer's ass and pulled him deeper against his body, making them both moan at the friction it created as their members rubbed against each others. Castiel smiled and moved his hips against Dean's lazily, loving the feeling that grew in his stomach and groin.

 

Cas took his time with Dean, he worshiped his body with his hands and lips that trailed down over each and every inch of skin he could reach. He paid a lot of attention to Dean's neck, licking his skin gently before sucking it in to leave little lip-shaped marks all over him. The tanned body was writhing on the bed, he was panting and pleading for Cas to do  _ something, _ he needed more and he was already losing his patience, feeling as if he was about to burst every second.

 

“Shh... We will go slow.” Cas whispered against the shell of his ear. “I want this to be good for you.” It was already great and Dean was slowly losing his mind when Cas kissed his way down his body again to lie in between his legs, carefully pushing his knees up with his hands, his lips coming down to suck Dean's tip into his mouth, gently sucking while his fingers wandered down to drift over the tight ring of muscles, grinning when Dean's body trembled, his breath hitching in his throat. He let himself fall back into the pillows, giving up watching Castiel down there. It was a strange feeling but so good. Slowly Cas entered one finger, Dean's hips bucking off the mattress, making Cas tear away his head from his length with a grin.

 

“You like that?” He asked and added another finger, watching as Dean threw his head around, trying to get used to the feeling of being scissored open, breathing heavily to get through the pain, finally feeling pleasure when Cas' fingers stroked over a bundle of nerves, making him scream the dancer's name in surprise. Oh Dean was so ready to be taken, he was so relaxed, he wanted this to happen, he needed to feel Castiel in him, he wanted him to move against him, he wanted him back up to have Cas kiss him senseless. Since when was he so damn submissive and passive? He had never known how good it would feel to hand himself over into the hands of another man.

 

A third finger was added and Dean was a mess, not able to form a coherent sentence and so he just murmured Cas' name from time to time, pleading that he needed more through his ragged breaths.

 

“Oh Dean...” Cas whispered as he came back up and made Dean turn around on the bed, his hands kneading his ass, spreading his cheeks to go back down, licking him there with his tongue lapping out wonderfully wicked. “So beautiful.” Dean's forlorn scream got lost in the pillows as he pressed his face in there to muffle his own voice, a bit embarrassed that Cas was able to make him come apart so easily. Dean pressed his hips down into the sheets, seeking friction as he leaked precome, soaking the spot beneath him.

 

“Cas, please, please....” He wasn't able to think of more words, a sentence was so out of question but the raven haired just smiled and let his hands kneed his ass, licking more, making Dean whimper in pleasure, reducing him to nothing but a quivering puddle of need, writhing on his own bed.

 

After endless minutes of torture, Cas sat up to lower his body over Dean's, gently biting into his shoulder while one hand grabbed Dean's to interlace their fingers, the other stroking whatever part of Dean's body he could reach, kissing the side of his face, smiling against the stubbled skin as he aligned his member, ready to take Dean who just rose his rear up higher, silently pleading to be taken.

 

“Relax, Dean.” Cas whispered into his ear and then the mechanic saw stars. His forehead fell onto the pillows again and he moaned and panted through the pain as Cas slowly sunk in deeper, going slow to let Dean adjust. “God, you feel great.” Cas mumbled, holding back from rolling his hips in earnest. “So hot and tight.” Dean groaned, relaxing a little more, his hand grabbing Cas' fingers so hard that it hurt the dancer but it was okay, it anchored him. The mechanic could feel every move of Cas, every inch that he sank deeper into him but soon pain was replaced by pleasure and he nodded, not daring to say something, fearing that it would give away how far he was already gone.

 

Castiel was slow, gentle and careful, tenderly kissing Dean's face as he moved against the man's body, his breath coming out in ragged gasps and shivers that went through Dean's body. This was so damn intimate, Dean had never felt so lost and adored when he went to bed with a woman, it had never felt so good. He felt whole, his heart beating faster whenever he heard Castiel praise him, moaning little compliments into his ear while Dean was wondering how he was able to form sentences and Dean couldn't do anything but groan or whisper Cas' name from time to time. Fuck, this man was great, Dean was already becoming addicted to that scent that surrounded him completely, now. He was close, so damn close.

 

“Cas, I – I can't...” He whimpered, but before he could come, Cas stopped his movements, making Dean look up. “Cas, what...?”

 

“I want to see your wonderful eyes when you come for me.” The dancer smiled when he saw what his comment did to Dean: it aroused him even more – though he hadn't thought that this was even possible – and he was frustrated because the other had stopped. But Dean obediently turned around to lie on his back, looking up into Castiel's nearly black eyes, fascinated how thoroughly fucked out he already looked.

 

He hooked Dean's leg over his shoulder, sliding back into him in one swift go, making him throw his head back, exposing his neck for Cas to kiss and lick it what he gladly did, sucking marks next to the marks he already sported. It felt good to be marked, he really wanted this, wishing that everyone was able to see that he was taken. And by that wonderful dancer, too.

 

“Cas... God, Cas.” Dean murmured in between his moans.

 

“Open your eyes, baby, I wanna see them.” Cas stopped in his thrusts, knowing that Dean would look up at him, now and of course he did. “Gorgeous.” Cas praised and dived down to cover Dean's lips with his own, kissing him with all he had as we went on, slowly rocking his hips against the mechanic's body, feeling his own pleasure built up until he was just as close as Dean. He drew back from his kiss and looked down at Dean, locking their eyes, making the other man squirm underneath him. “Come for me, Dean.” He purred and moaned when Dean's body shivered, convulsing around him, driving him over the edge as well.

 

“Cas!” Dean screamed his name as he came all over his stomach and chest and Cas was sure that he had never seen a sight as sexy as Dean coming underneath him.

 

Dean still trembled when Cas pulled out of his body, gathering his shivering form in his arms. So this man had rocked his world completely, Dean was stunned and sated at the same time, hoping that Cas would stay with him for more than just tonight.

 

“Cas.” Dean mumbled against his chest, still panting heavily as Castiel's fingers gently caressed his back and hair.

 

“I got you, Dean.” The raven haired said and kissed the younger man's temple. The mechanic felt snug and safe in Castiel's arms and his eyes drifted shut a few minutes later. He was so completely trusting the dancer that he wasn't afraid to fall asleep in his arms.

 

**+XxX+**

 

Dean woke up with a warm body pressed against his own, an arm thrown around his middle, holding him firmly in place. It was nice to have someone sleeping next to him and waking up with him the next morning, With careful movements he snuggled deeper into the warmth, feeling Castiel’s chest move as he breathed gently, still sleeping peacefully. Dean was still on the verge between dreaming and waking up himself, he liked the feeling and enjoyed it as long as possible but when he was finally awake another thought knocked at the back of his head: what about little Sophie? So he was happy now and content, not wishing to ever let Castiel go but he had to think about his niece, she should have a childhood without getting mocked about her uncle being with another man. Fuck, this was hard.

 

Carefully he turned around to Cas, making sure that he wouldn’t wake him up in the process and when he looked into that beautiful face again, his heart beat faster in his chest and he felt the longing to kiss those honey lips again but he resisted. Instead his hand came up to gently caress Cas’ stubbled cheek, making him smile a little at the soft touch. “Hmm… Dean.” He whispered, making the man’s heart race even faster. It was nice to see that Cas was saying his name in his sleep, instantly knowing who he was with. This man was worth keeping and Dean was already thinking about how he should tell Sophie about him but then he didn’t know how this would end for her. And he was straight. ‘Yeah, waking up next to a guy who makes your stomach tingle is definitely straight, huh?’ Oh, how he hated this little voice, it told the truth but he didn’t want to hear it and so he concentrated on that wonderful face again, melting when Cas leaned into his hand’s touch. ‘So damn straight…’

 

“Hey Dean.” Cas said and his smiled widened, opening his stunning blue eyes, finding a man who was staring open mouthed at him, lost in what he was seeing. “Have you lost your voice?” He said after another few minutes of Dean just caressing his face and staring at it at the same time.

 

“Hey.” Was all he could manage to say, breaking into a smile as well that made his forest green eyes glisten with joy.

 

“I thought you would wake up and hate me for what we have done.” The comment didn’t even hurt Dean because he had expected it himself but why should he regret something that he would do again and again?

 

“S’okay.. I think I might be a little bit gay.” He smirked, coming down to steal a kiss from Cas’ lips.

 

“What now?” Castiel wanted to know and this was exactly the question Dean had feared the most. He simply didn’t know, he wanted to see Cas again, that was out of question but having him here in the evenings would mean that little Sophie would figure out what was going on if she saw them kiss or something amongst those lines. And how should he explain that her ballet teacher was sleeping in her uncle's bed? God, it was complicated and he was so done with complicated things… It hadn’t been easy after Sophie’s parents had died and it had worn him out to figure out if he was the right man to raise a girl. All the decisions he had to make, all the things he had left behind for her, he wasn’t willing to destroy what he had built up, but didn’t he deserve a little happiness for himself? “You don’t know.” Castiel sounded more than disappointed, all hope that had been in his voice before dying this very second.

 

“I won’t let you go, Cas.” Dean said, edging closer to intertwine their legs beneath the sheets. The other man grabbed Dean’s shoulders and pulled him closer, to let Dean's head rest beneath his chin, inhaling the scent of his hair deeply. “We will have to be careful with Sophie. I don’t want her to think…” His voice trailed off, he wasn’t sure how he was going to phrase this. If he was alone, he wouldn’t care if that someone in his bed was male or female, he had faced worse things than a twisted sexuality but he wasn’t alone.

 

“What, Dean?” Cas asked gently. “That she might think less of you? Or that it makes you less of a man?” In fact Dean was sure that it took a real men to admit that he was into men, it wasn’t easy but denying was just running away. Something Dean had never done.

 

“No, not at all.” Dean sighed and closed his eyes, letting Cas caress his back and shoulders with his fingers. “But what if she will get problems because her uncle goes to bed with another man? What if she gets mocked or bullied because I’m so selfish.”

 

“You’re not selfish. You took your brother’s girl in and care for her like a father.” Cas grabbed Dean’s chin to make him look up into his eyes. “That’s far from selfish, you know? Actually that was the information that really made me interested in you in the first place.”  
  
“You flirted with me before.” Dean teased and was silenced by a short but deep kiss. Damn, Cas was hot.

 

“Yeah. But the things we see are not necessarily as beautiful on the outside as on the inside. I’m a ballet dancer, I should know.” Dean smiled at the hidden compliment and relaxed a little.

 

“We will do this again. Just… let me get adjusted to this slowly, okay? I’ll figure this out.”

 

“Okay.” Castiel broke into a huge grin, then he pressed Dean down into the pillows. “And yes, we will definitely do this again. Right now.” He said, biting into the side of the other man’s neck.

 

“ I meant… a date and…” His voice trailed off, when he gave in to Castiel,  enjoying what he did to his body.

 

**+XxX+**

 

When they finally crawled out of bed it was already noon and Dean couldn’t help it but he wore such a stupid grin on his face. It was ridiculous how much the last night had changed something in him and it felt good for now. He wasn’t sure when he would face reality again but he was determined to enjoy this without second thoughts as long as possible. The mechanic went down to the kitchen while Cas was still taking a shower and he prepared breakfast for both of them, making some scrambled eggs on toast and some coffee, hoping that this was okay with Cas.

 

The man followed a few minutes later, entering the kitchen, his hair still damp from the shower. He was wearing Dean’s bathrobe, making the younger man’s stomach give a funny jolt. He liked it that he wore his clothes, it was like he was already his, Dean’s scent all over him, now. Great, now he had a problem with feeling possessive as well but it melted down to nothing when Castiel came closer to him, inhaling the smell of the food and coffee deeply, as he smiled. It was ridiculous with how much adoration and affection his sky blue eyes eyed Dean but the mechanic was sure that his own mirrored these feelings as they kissed.

 

“Good morning.” Cas smiled and grabbed the two cups that Dean had already prepared for their coffee, filling them with the black liquid. Dean stared when Cas drank it just like that, just black.

 

“No milk or sugar?” He asked and Cas looked at him over the rim of his cup.

 

“No. Black is just fine with me.” He grinned, seeing Dean shake his head. The mechanic poured milk and sugar into his own cup, so much that Cas made a face. “You will die from the sweetness.” He stated, bewildered that Dean was able to drink it this way.

 

“Yes.” The other man grinned and sipped his coffee, setting his cup down on the table before he placed plates and cutlery on the table, switching on the radio as he did so. It was some rock station that was currently playing November Rain by Guns’n’Roses, making Cas grin into his coffee. Dean served the food a few minutes later and they ate, chatting about Sophie and ballet and cars, they were both totally at ease, feeling as if they knew the other for years and not just for about a week. Dean would never have guessed that something like this was possible, he had heard of love at first sight but he had never really believed in it, it seemed childish and if he thought about it, he even refused to call it love what happened to him but his heart and that tiny voice in his head laughed a little until they were silenced by the mechanic. No. He would definitely not think about such a big word after one night together. It would be stupid.

 

But damn, if he wasn’t already feeling more than with any woman before, his heart was beating faster whenever Cas smiled at him or when he made a nice remark about Dean or Sophie and the mechanic was sure that he wanted Cas by his side but he wasn’t alone and so he had to make decisions while thinking about little Sophie.

 

It felt so nice to sit on the sofa, Cas holding him firmly in his arms while they watched TV, spending the afternoon with id cuddling and slow kisses. It felt great, Dean hadn’t been so content in a long while and his heart was already sinking when he thought about Cas leaving later when he would have to drive over to Bobby to get Sophie back. When these thoughts crossed his mind, he edged even closer to Cas, inhaling his scent as deep as he could, trying to store it to his memory until he would see him again. The afternoon passed too soon and when it was time to get up and driver over to Bobby, Dean looked into Cas’ eyes, grabbing his chin to make him look into his own.

 

“Sophie goes to bed at seven.” Dean said. “I can’t leave her alone but if you would like to come over in the evenings… Yeah, just do so.” He wasn’t sure if it was okay to offer something like this, but Cas smiled and kissed his lips, tasting them, playing with them until the kiss deepened and they fell back onto the sofa again, Dean lying above Castiel, holding him down firmly, unable to let him go so soon.

 

“I’ll come over tomorrow.” Cas promised when their lips parted and he had to get up. Dean was already late but he was so reluctant to let Cas leave him, he wanted him close, he wanted him to embrace and hold him every night, it had been so good to wake up surrounded by his warmth and he would miss it terribly tomorrow.

 

“Okay.” The mechanic answered, getting ready to fetch Sophie while Cas grabbed his few belongings and waited by the door for his lover. Dean drove Cas over to his own apartment, it wasn’t far from his own house and he was glad for it, kissing Cas goodbye thoroughly, waiting until he had vanished through the door before he drove away.

 

**+XxX+**

 

“Hell, Dean!” Bobby exclaimed as he opened the door to his own little house to let the mechanic in, eying him with huge eyes. The younger man didn’t know what was wrong and so he just stared at his friend, shrugging his shoulders in a silent question.

 

“What?” He insisted, making Bobby give an irritated sigh.

 

“Your neck is practically completely blue. Was a good night, huh?” He asked and let Dean follow him into the living room where Sophie was sitting at the table, painting with water colors. When she saw Dean she got up and ran over to him, hugging him when he came down to his knees. He held her close to his body, kissing her temple before they let go again.

 

“Hey Sweetie.” He smiled, totally ignoring Bobby’s comment though he was sure that he wouldn’t be able to escape his questions but greeting Sophie gave him some time to think his answer over. He wasn’t sure if he should tell the truth to his uncle, afraid what he might think of him, now. “Get your stuff, it’s late already.” He said and she nodded, getting to the task. Dean got up from the floor and helped Bobby to put away the water colors. Wow. Sophie was really talented, Dean realized when he grabbed some of her pictures, looking at them. He chose two of them to put them on the fridge and when he turned around, Bobby stared at him intently.

 

“So?” He just asked, his voice barely a growl. Dean knew that the man had never approved of his one night stands, he had heard more talks about STDs from Bobby than he would thought was possible. His thoughts drifted back to last night, he hadn’t even thought about it when he went to bed with Cas… This man would be the end of him, Dean was sure.

 

“I met someone.” Dean said vaguely, hoping that Bobby would let the topic drop but he just rolled his eyes.

 

“I can very well see THAT, Dean, but will you see her again or was she just another girl you took to bed.” Bobby spoke silently so that Sophie wouldn’t hear him but Dean could hear the not-so-well-hidden criticism in his words and rolled his eyes as well.

 

“Guess we will see each other again.”

 

“Oh, was she that good?” Bobby had no idea… Dean gulped his biting comment down and just grinned.

 

“We talked a lot. And it was nice. So yeah, it was good.” He carefully shipped around mentioning if it was “he” or “she” he was talking about. He would confess that he was with a man when he was sure that this would last, no need to make Bobby or any other friend worry. Except Jo. She already knew every dark secret Dean hid well from all the others but she was great in keeping them and she never judged him for anything he had done in his life. That was why she was such a great friend.

 

“You don’t look like you’ve talked a lot.” Bobby said with a grin and a wink. His mood got better when he heard that Dean was thinking about meeting someone again, he really wished for his friend and nearly-son to be happy at last. He deserved it, especially as he had given up a lot for his little niece when Sam and Jess had died.

 

“We have. And it was a nice evening. We’ll see each other tomorrow when Sophie’s asleep. I don’t want her to see anyone in the house as long as I don’t know if and how this will work out.” Dean explained and Bobby nodded.

 

“Wise decision, son.” He said and handed Mr. Piggy over to Dean so he wouldn’t forget him. “I just want you to see happy, okay? You waited so long for someone by your side, you can’t be alone for the rest of your life.”

 

“I have Sophie.” Dean smiled as she came over with her little pink bag in her hands.

 

“I’m ready.” She piped up and he took her onto his arms, feeling the need to have her as close to him as possible. It was strange but he missed her even when she was away for just one night. “What happened to you?” She asked and let her little hand wander over his neck, inspecting the dark marks Cas had left all over him. Bobby broke into a fit of laughter behind him and Dean groaned inwardly.

 

“Time to have the talk, son.” Bobby grinned when Dean and Sophie waved him goodbye.

 

“Bite me.” Dean whispered over his shoulder towards Bobby and louder: “See you tomorrow.” Then he left the house of his friend and got into his car with Sophie who still eyed his neck, looking a little worried even.

 

“Did someone hurt you, Dean?” She asked when he placed her in the front seat, buckling her belt for her. To buy some time he walked over to the driver’s side first and slipped behind the wheel, starting the car.

 

“No, Sweetie, everything is fine, no one hurt me.” He grinned to himself. On the contrary, he had more than enjoyed what Cas had done to him last night. “This sometimes happens when you’re an adult.” He decided to say. “You will see it for yourself someday. When you’re thirty or older!” He added hastily, looking over at her sternly. No horny son of a bitch would touch his little princess before he wasn’t ready to face the thought that she was having sex. She would never be ready, Dean was sure of it… Well, maybe he would never be ready but basically it would lead to the same result: no one would touch her!

 

“Okay.” Sophie let the topic drop and turned towards Mr. Piggy, holding him up so that he could look out of the window. The girl was cute beyond belief and Dean would never do anything that would hurt her, he just couldn’t. So the…thing that he had started with Castiel would stay a secret until he was sure that this was something more and deeper – he already assumed it – and maybe Sophie would know about them someday when Dean found the guts to burden her with his choice.

 

When Dean went to bed later, he buried his face in the pillow Cas had slept on and his decision faltered. God, he wanted this man so much that he didn’t recognize himself any more. It was new that he felt attached to someone who wasn’t a friend or family – which was basically the same in Dean’s book – and he was afraid that he was getting involved in something that he wasn’t able to stop once it began. But he had to, Sophie was his only responsibility, he had to make sure that she raised her like Sam would have wanted it. Damn, he missed his baby brother so badly. Not because Sophie was now with him, he loved her to no end, but because Sam had always been able to help him when they had talked. Just like Jo but still so totally different. With a frustrated grunt Dean grabbed his cell phone from the night stand and typed a short text to Jo: *I slept with him and damn, it was good.* he would just explode when he kept this a secret and all to himself and telling Jo was okay. She had actually urged him to take that step.

 

It took her a minute to reply: *I knew it. The way you talked about him and all…* Yeah… All he could think about was Castiel, his heart hammered when he inhaled his scent and he was totally okay with the fact that it was a man. Maybe everything would work out well, maybe he could have some happiness for himself.

 

**TBC**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this last sentence hurts when you already know what will happen… *teasetease*


	6. A little Normalcy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it takes me a little longer to update lately. I'm sick and at home but most of the time I just cannot concentrate on writing... I will do better!

CHAPTER 6

 

Dean was nervous, really, badly, ugly, fuckin‘ nervous when he put Sophie into bed on Monday evening, watching her eyes fall closed when he read her a story in a calm voice that was definitely faked. All the time he was wondering if Cas would really come over, he hadn’t dared to write him a message or call him, not wanting to appear like an overly attached girlfriend. But damn him, that was exactly how he felt. What if the dancer had decided that he wouldn’t come to him tonight, what if he regretted what had happened between them? God, this was weird, Dean was close to freaking out though he had always been so cool when it came to dates and things like that.

 

“Good night, Sweetie.” He whispered and kissed her forehead. She was already asleep and so he took his time to just watch her for a while, wondering what she was dreaming about. The poor little thing was growing up without her parents and again Dean felt a sting in his heart when he asked himself if he would be enough for her or if she missed something or needed something that only a parent could give her. “I love you, Sophie.” He mumbled, his eyes filling with tears when he saw the small smile that followed his words. Maybe he was enough, maybe he was able to raise her up and make her a responsible and stable adult but still he had doubts that he wasn’t able to dismiss ever. Silently he sneaked out of her room, closing the door behind him, going down the stairs again to wait for Castiel to arrive.

 

The next ten minutes were hell, it was already 7 pm and then it was ten minutes later, then another five minutes passed. Dean was holding his cell phone in his hands, turning it over and over again, considering if he should call Cas or not. Shit, he shouldn’t be such a girl, but damn, he missed the raven haired man and his scent, his voice, his blue eyes, his touches as if they were a couple since forever and not just… well, nothing if he was honest. The best thing would be to change that but he was still so afraid what would happen to Sophie if he committed himself to a man.

 

The ring on the door stopped his thoughts and made his heart race instantly. He walked over to open the door, his hands shaking as he grabbed the knob and pulled it. On the other side of it stood Castiel, a huge smile on his face that grew deeper when he saw Dean and entered the house wordlessly. Within a split second the two men were all over each other, kissing as if Castiel just came back from war, stumbling into the living room as their hands went under clothes and tore them off each other hastily to feel skin on skin.

 

When the lay together on the sofa some time later, Castiel was cradling Dean in his arms, pulling a blanket over them to hide their naked bodies from view if Sophie came down. Dean made a mental note that the dancer was attentive like that and edged closer into the warmth he provided.

 

“I missed you, Cas.” Dean dared to say after a while, the first words that were spoken since Cas arrived at his house. Talking wasn’t really necessary at this point, they were content just to be together, their presence soothing to the other in a way that was new to them both.

 

“I did, too.” Cas whispered into his hair, stroking his sides lazily under the blanket. “It was just one day….” He sounded as if he couldn’t believe that it was even possible to miss someone after just a short time but hell, Dean knew what he meant.

 

“So what about us, now?” Dean asked him, carefully avoiding to turn around and look into those blue eyes, fearing what he might find there.

 

“What?” Cas asked, but Dean could hear the grin in his face. Oh, that little bitch was making him speak it out loud and he didn’t even hate Cas for it.

 

“I don’t want you to run around out there being single and date whoever you want. Think it’s just natural.” Dean mumbled, knowing that he was just blushing furiously, he could feel the heat rise into his cheeks. Warm hands brushed over his face, gently tracing the warmth that made his nervousness so obvious.

 

“What are you suggesting, Dean?” Now, Castiel was definitely a tease, provoking Dean to spit out what was on his mind. Damn him! Blushing even deeper, Dean sat up and rolled his eyes at the raven haired man whose grin widened as he looked at him. God, Cas was beautiful and still it was a little intimidating to be watched by those blue eyes.

 

“For fuck’s sake, Cas!” Dean grumbled into his face, feeling like a teenage girl again as he was chickening out. “Are we…what? Like… together or something?” he mumbled, unsure how to phrase it, feeling awkward as he pleaded for the man to stay with him. This was the first time he wanted to stay together with someone, he had never learned how these things worked. “I – I mean it’s fine if you don’t wanna, I know we don’t really know each other and I’m no match for someone like you and – mmph…” Dean was silenced when Cas put his hand over his mouth to shut him up, stopping his ranting and Dean was glad for it. His green eyes looked at Cas insecurely, not knowing what to expect from the other man.

 

“You’re sweet, Dean.” Castiel said and sat up, looking at him with an unreadable face and Dean was sure that he would reject him. It was obvious that Dean wasn’t enough for an angelic creature like Castiel but it would hurt nevertheless and so he prepared himself for the worst, not able to stop his hands from shaking. Cas took them into his own, his fingers gently caressing Dean’s knuckles, pulling them to his lips to kiss them in a strangely intimate gesture. “You’re perfect for me, Dean.”Cas breathed against his fingers. “If you want me to stay with you, I’ll gladly do.” Dean couldn’t tell the last time he was as happy as he was now, but something still knocked at the back of his head and it was Cas who spoke it out first. “What about Sophie, Dean?” He wanted to know.

 

“I honestly don’t know, Cas. She’s such a smart and clever girl, she would surely understand but then there are the other children and I’m afraid that they will make her life hell when they find out. I don’t know how she would deal with it, if she was able to tell them to just fuck off or if she would just swallow it, hating me some day for being a bad parent for her. What if she doesn’t want to be here anymore, what if I lose the last family member I have in this world?” There was compassion in Castiel’s eyes, he could very well understand the struggle Dean was going through right now and he nodded.

  
“It’s okay, Dean.” He said. “For now I’ll just come over when she’s in bed or with your friend.  But someday you will have to tell her. Not tomorrow but when you’re sure that we will stay together, okay?” Now it was Dean’s turn to nod.

 

“Sure, Cas.” He said and closed his eyes, releasing the breath that he had held all the time. He felt relief and warmth flood him, it was comforting to know that there was somebody there for him from now on and he was already looking forward to their time together. “Just give me some time. It’ll be fine in the end.” Dean promised and fell back against Cas’ chest, he was exhausted and tired but he was reluctant to go to bed, he wished they could just sit here forever like this, never getting up. In the end it was Castiel who yawned.

 

“I think I should leave, now.” He said and wanted to get up from the sofa but Dean grabbed his wrist to stop the naked man from gathering his clothes and walk away to sleep alone in his apartment.

 

“What? No.” He said with a shocked expression, making Castiel chuckle. Fuck, he was behaving like a girl again, why couldn’t he just let Cas walk out and play it cool. With a smile Cas sat down by his side again.

 

“You’re suggesting that I should sleep here?” There was this mocking voice again, his blue eyes sparkling with mischief. It was adorable and cute.

 

“Yes?”

 

“And Sophie?”

 

”She gets up early. I will take her to preschool and drive to work at around seven. If you want, I can come back here as well, or you and stay and sleep a little longer, whatever you like.” It sounded stupid even to his own ears, all these insecurities were driving him crazy.

 

“I prefer to sleep in.” Castiel said, crinkling his nose. “You wouldn’t like me at such early hours, believe me…”

 

“Think I would.” Dean answered, then pulled Cas up to his feet and over into his bedroom. They didn’t fall asleep immediately, Castiel was eager to have him again before he took him into his arms and they drifted off to sleep peacefully.

 

**+XxX+**

 

Dean was already missing Cas while he was at work the next day and as Cas had to work late today, he wouldn’t come over and the next time he would see him was when he brought little Sophie to her ballet classes. There would be a lot of parents and children to witness and Dean was definitely not risking that little Sophie was one of them. Maybe he would get the chance to talk to his boyfriend after her class. His boyfriend. He was still grinning madly whenever that term went through his head though it sounded a little strange but what did he care? He wanted Cas and he had him, no matter what they labeled it as long as it was a relationship.

 

Time went by slowly, Dean was still working on that damn Ford, her motor didn’t work and he hadn’t found the failure yet. It was getting frustrating and so Dean swore under his breath while he was standing beneath the car, testing another part that might be the cause for the damage but he feared that he might have to remove the whole motor. Damn it! He swore even louder when Bobby walked up behind him, sneaking up on him silently, not making a noise until he cleared his throat.

 

“Hey Dean.” He said with a good hearted laugh as the man rubbed his head where he had banged it against the bumper of the car. He should definitely raise them higher the next time. “So what about that girl you met, huh? Anything I should know?”

 

“Since when are you that interested in my love life?” Dean asked, his eyes suspiciously scanning Bobby’s face. Did he know something?

 

“Since you told me that you will meet the same women twice. I don’t even remember when it happened the last time.” He came over to where Dean stood, clapping his back twice. “Don’t get me wrong. I just wanna see you happy. And it would be great for Sophie as well, female influence will absolutely not hurt her.” ‘She can get some at school…’ Dean thought while he should better figure out what he told Bobby.

 

“I know… But she hasn’t met him yet.” He answered, knowing that he had made a mistake when Bobby’s hand froze on his shoulder and his face fell. Oh shit, now it was out and maybe he would now hear the longest sermon of his life. Bobby was damn good at preaching.

 

“Him?” He asked, turning the word over and over in his mouth until he finally spit it into his beard and his eyes grew harder. It was too late to deny it, Dean was sure but what should he say or do to make Bobby understand? This was exactly what he had feared…

 

“S’not a girl.” Dean said, not looking into his friend’s eyes as he spoke. “I don’t know how it could’ve happen, but it did and I don’t know when and how I shall tell Sophie. I have to see if this works out first and maybe I’ll tell her someday…” He rambled, helplessly scratching the back of his neck, squirming under Bobby’s gaze.

 

“Hell, Dean…” His eyes wandered over the dark spots on the other man’s neck. “You got yourself into trouble yet again.” What was that supposed to mean? Dean looked up, trying to find an answer on Bobby’s face but it wasn’t there. “Just think of little Sophie. Don’t make her sad or worse. You’re responsible for her, don’t you ever forget that.” And here the speech began… “She needs a woman to raise her up, not another guy. Did you ever think what he other kids at her school would say? She’s just five, Dean, she need stability, not some strange gay couple, it’s just weird for a kid.” Dean knew that Bobby was right but what was he supposed to do? Just go on and forget Castiel? He was sure that he wouldn’t be able to do this, he was already way too attached to the man and he knew that it had been a mistake to leave that shitty bar with him the other night. He tried to listen to Bobby’s words, but the older mechanic sounded far away and he didn’t really get what he was saying, though he knew what it would be. And everything his friend said was right, Dean was just selfish, he should think about Sophie, not about his own happiness. Hadn’t they all said that they wanted Dean happy? Now he was happy but it would never work out well… His shoulders fell when Bobby had finished his speech, waiting for Dean to say something. He took a deep breath.

 

“I’ll keep it a secret to Sophie.” He said barely above a whisper, not able to speak louder without his voice breaking. “And if necessary I’ll end this.”

 

“You don’t know what you do to yourself.” Bobby mumbled into his beard and wanted to leave but that comment only made Dean angry. It was his own life, right? And he was old enough to make his own decisions and old enough to keep this away from Sophie.

 

“You said you wanted me happy.” He yelled after Bobby and the man turned to look at him. “So what about me? Do the things that I want not count? Is it really that hard to believe that I finally found someone? Do you really care if it’s a guy or whatever? Fuck, Bobby, I thought at least you would support and help me.”

 

“I will, Dean, and I truly wish you all the happiness in this world. But you have to be normal as well. You have a little girl. Think about her!”

 

With that he left the other man alone with the car and his thoughts.

 

**+XxX+**

 

The next day came quickly and Sophie was already looking forward to her ballet class, jumping around Dean no matter how hard he tried to keep her calm. It was to no avail. Most likel y because he was nervous himself, not knowing  how he should greet Cas today while Sophie was with him. He was thinking this over the whole way to the ballet class and when he parked the car in front of it, he couldn't help but grin when he thought about the last time he had been here. God, Cas really shook him to the core.

 

“Come on, Dean, or I will be late!” Sophie piped up when he just sat behind the steering wheel, staring out the windshield, grinning like a maniac. Oops! They got out of the car and into the building and the whole time Dean was looking over the heads of the other people, trying to find his boyfriend. And there was the grin again. “Look, there's Nora.” Sophie said and let go of his hand, running over to her friend. Dean purposefully avoided Nora's mother, not wanting to lose time. He nonchalantly walked over to the room where the class would take place but Castiel wasn't in there. Damn, where was he?

 

With a sigh Dean wanted to walk over to Sophie and Nora, chatting with her mum while waiting. Her name was Sally, she was raising Nora on her own, her e husband had left them alone a few years ago and Dean was sure that Sally was trying to flirt with him. Hopefully Cas wouldn't see it, thinking God knows what... So Dean just smiled and nodded while his eyes scanned the foyer again, hoping for a chance to escape. A corridor lead to another part of the school, the lights weren't on and there in the shadows he spotted Castiel who waved at him and made a come-here-gesture with his finger. It was like he had cast a spell on Dean because he  excused himself, not even listening to what Sally was talking about and made his way over to Castiel, stepping into the shadows of the darker hallway.

 

A hand grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him against a firm body that pressed him up against the wall, not waiting for Dean to say something before chapped lips came down to sensually move against his own. Cas kissed with his whole body, one hand was entangled in Dean's short hair, nails raking over the skin beneath, the other was on his ass, pressing their groins together. A helpless moan escaped Dean's lips and he was glad that Cas kissed it off his lips immediately, it would be a disaster if one of the parents saw them here together.

 

“I'll come over tonight.” Cas breathed when their lips parted, Dean still trying to process how hot Castiel could be. “I'll mark you again so that everybody will see that you're taken.” His whispered against Dean's ear, his hot breath tickling down his neck. “Sally will not try to take you away from me again.” A chuckle followed these words because Cas was looking up into the mechanic's face: he looked shocked because Cas had witnessed him with Sally. “Oh, Dean.” A hearty laugh, his head thrown back, his long neck exposed and so damn kissable. “She flirts with every man she finds, she's desperate to find someone. She even tried it with me when Nora came here for the first time. She even tried to ignore the fact that I'm not into women...” He was met by silence, Dean's huge green eyes  still staring at him bewildered. “Dean?”

 

“Damn, Cas, you'll be the end of me someday.” Was the only thing he was able to get out and it made the dancer chuckle again.

 

“If a kiss leaves you that speechless, I'm curious what you will say when I'm done with you tonight.” Dean gulped. “It's okay if I come over, right?” He added a little unsure. Dean nodded.

 

“Can't wait for it.” He said and with a huge smile Castiel stepped back, Dean nearly sliding down the wall as the firm body that had held him upright was gone. “And Cas?” He said before the dancer could leave and he turned to smile at Dean, urging him to go on. “You're a tease.” With these words and a grin, the man walked over to his pupils and they followed him into his class and within minutes the foyer was empty again. Dean took his chance to fight down his raging hard-on, then he walked into the room as well, hoping he didn't look as turned on as he was.

 

When he walked back to the car with little Sophie, she grabbed his hand and smiled up at him. “I really like Cas.” She said. “Dancing is so much fun. I wish I could come here every day.” Yeah, Dean wished the same but he kept his mouth shut.

 

**+XxX+**

 

“ Hello Dean.” Castiel greeted him when he opened the door in the evening, finding a beautiful dancer in front of it. The man had something in his hand and he waved it at Dean as soon as he stepped into the house. It looked like concert cards or something and Dean was curious, grabbing Cas' hand to see what he got there.

 

“What's that?” He asked as he read what was on the cards.

 

“I kind of lied the other day...” Castiel confessed and took off his trench coat, hanging it up next to Dean's and Sophie's jackets. “The choreography you saw was an old one, that was the true part of it. But I didn't just try it out with that song. It was the idea of an old friend of mine. She is the host of a beneficial ballet gala by the end of summer and she remembered me dancing and thought it would fit with the music of Take Me To Church. I agreed to dance and I thought you and Sophie might want to see it.” Dean took the cards as Cas offered them to him.

 

“Wow.” He said and grinned. “It will make her incredibly happy. And me as well. So I get the chance to see you dancing again.”

 

“ I never thought you were a man who liked ballet.” Castiel teased, making Dean roll his eyes as he walked away from the dancer and into the living room. 

 

“I liked to see you dancing. T'was so damn sexy.” Dean looked over his shoulder and winked at the dancer who laughed a little when he heard that. “I mean it, Cas. I've never been to the theater, I never even thought about watching ballet but I'm looking forward to see you on stage.”

 

“You are flattering me, Dean.” He walked over to the mechanic with smooth feline movements, resting his hands on the man's hips. “You don't have to. I like you anyways.” It made Dean ridiculously happy to hear that, it was nice to have someone talk so openly to him. Someone who stayed for longer. His thoughts went back to Bobby who hadn't seen this whole thing as positive as Dean. “What's wrong?” Cas asked when he saw the other's face fall, his hand cupping Dean's cheek, his eyes searching forest green depth for what was wrong.

 

“I told Bobby about you. It just slipped that you're a guy and he mouthed his doubts because of Sophie. He said he wants me normal.” Cas shook his head with a bitter smile and Dean could very well imagine what went through his head right now. He didn't like it to make Cas sad but he didn't want to hide anything from him, he trusted him so deeply already. “And I know he's right. Well, not about me being normal or not, but about Sophie. I can imagine that other kids might mock her. She already had a hard childhood, being raised by her uncle and not her parents... I don't wanna make it worse. So yeah, Bobby's kind of right, but Cas...” He stopped for a second, blue eyes looking at him fearfully. “I want you so, I wanna have you with me and I wanna Sophie know about you eventually but it seems so damn unfair to burden her with something like this.” He sighed, his eyes dropping to the floor.

 

“We will find a way, Dean, okay?”

 

They found a way. Cas came over whenever he found the time and when Sophie was already in her bed sleeping, she never knew that her ballet teacher was there at night, making her uncle plead and beg under him. Dean was addicted to Castiel, the dancer was all he had ever wanted, he made him smile and he felt wanted when he was with him and on the other hand he was able to tell him everything, listening to the things Cas had to say, enjoying not only the sex but also their talks and discussions they had.

 

Jo and Bobby were the only ones who knew about Dean's relationship with the dancer, Bobby still grumpy but satisfied that Sophie was still clueless. He even took her in the other weekend so that Cas and Dean could have an evening out. It seemed as if everything was okay but week after week passed and Dean didn't even think about telling Sophie about Castiel any longer and as the beneficial gala came closer, Cas had a lot of training to do and they didn't see each other that often. It was only two weeks until this very evening and Cas was with Dean after a week of being too busy to meet him.

 

The second Cas stepped into the house, he was all over Dean, he had missed the mechanic terribly in the last seven days and he needed to feel him against his own body, he wanted him so badly it nearly hurt. Of course Dean didn't complain when Castiel walked him over to his bedroom while kissing him fervently. The dancer had no mercy on Dean, he was desperate to have him and though he had planned to go slow, he couldn't help himself, he ripped Dean's clothes off and threw him onto the bed, not bothering with foreplay. Within seconds Dean was a writhing mess beneath him, he loved that Cas wasn't able to keep his hands off him, he loved that Cas was so uninhibited in bed and he loved that smug smile on his face when he watched him come.

 

Dean was panting hard when Cas was done with him and the dancer held him in his arms, kissing him over and over again. “This week was hell.” He said into the mechanic's hair and deeply inhaled his scent. “I so wanted to see you but I just couldn't make it.”

 

“S'okay, Honey.” Dean answered. “We'll have enough time when this is over, right?” Cas nodded and smiled at him, making his heart flutter in his chest again.

 

They decided to watch some TV before they went to sleep and so they pulled on their boxer shorts again and Dean handed Cas an old band shirt. He loved to see the dancer in his clothes and the old, gray Metallica shirt was something that turned Dean on more than a little bit. When they left the bedroom, Cas stopped under the doorway of the living room and turned to pull Dean in for a sweet kiss, not getting enough of this man who wore a band shirt and boxers as well. Cas loved to see him like this: thoroughly fucked out and he was the cause for this disheveled look. It was great.

 

“Dean? I can't sleep...” A voice said behind the mechanic and he jumped a few steps back, letting go of Castiel within a split second. Sophie stood on the lowest step, Mr. Piggy in her arm, rubbing her eyes with the other hand. “Why's Cas here?” She wanted to know and looked at the raven haired behind Dean. “Is he your boyfriend, now?”

 

“ _No!_ ” Dean sad without thinking. “No, he's here because he's a friend.” Dean was red from the roots of his hair to the tip of his toes, he hadn't even thought about Sophie being up that late. “I'll make a glass of warm milk. Go back up, I'll some in a few minutes, okay?” She nodded, then waved at Cas and went up the stairs to her room again. Dean was still shocked, his heart pounding rapidly in his chest as he turned to Castiel. The dancer was as pale as the wall behind him, his mouth agape, staring at Dean as if he had seen a ghost. “Cas...?” He asked and wanted to place his hand on his face but the man took a step away from him, a silent tear slipping from his left eye that ran down his face, making Dean panic.

 

“I cannot be your dirty secret any longer, Dean.” He whispered, his voice close to breaking. “She saw us kissing and you still deny it?”

 

“Cas, I – I was surprised, I didn't know...”  
  
“What, Dean?” Cas interrupted him. “You didn't know that she would find out someday? You didn't know that it hurts me the whole time that we have to keep this a secret? I was patient, Dean, but I cannot stand this any longer.” The dancer stormed into the bedroom, pulling on his jeans, socks and shoes and the mechanic came after him, hoping to stop him from leaving. He wouldn't go, would he? Cas had missed him too over the last week and the way he had made his body his tonight had shown Dean that Cas needed him, he couldn't go, right? But the raven haired angel stood up and grabbed his trench coat, heading for the door. That was when Dean finally found his voice again.

 

“Cas, don't leave, now.” He pleaded. “We'll figure this out, okay?”

 

“No. I just cannot do this any longer, you don't have to hide me, it hurts so damn much.” He took a deep breath. “I think we should just end this.” With these words he was out the door, slamming it shut behind him, leaving a puzzled and desperate Dean behind.

 

“Cas...” He whispered and fought against the tears that already formed behind his eyes. He wouldn't cry now, he had to care for his little niece, she needed sleep and so he went into the kitchen to prepare a glass of warm milk for her, walking up the stairs to her room. Dean was totally working on autopilot, he felt numb and alone, he wanted Cas back in his arms, he wanted to tell him that he was sorry but the dancer had left.

 

The door to Sophie's room was open and the girl already asleep and so he went down again, grabbing his cell phone from the coffee table to call Cas. He really owed him an apology and with an aching heart he held it to his ear, listening to the rings but Cas didn't answer. He dialed again but was re-directed to the mailbox immediately. Cas had turned off his cell, shutting Dean out. Shit. The mechanic ran his hands through his hair, he had screwed up royally, his damn mouth had spoken faster than his brain had been able to think. Fuck, he wanted Cas back, it hurt to see him walk away but deep inside he knew that it was his own fault and he knew that it would hurt Cas to keep him a secret.

 

With wobbly knees he went over into his bedroom that still smelled like sex and when he fell into the pillows he could still smell Castiel so very clear on them. Ah, fuck! That was the moment the tears began to fell. Dean had never felt so lost and alone in his whole life, knowing that he had just lost the love of his life.

 

Maybe it was for the better, maybe it would safe Sophie a lot of trouble, but why did his heart feel like it was just dying in his chest?

 

**TBC**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me...   
> ;_;


	7. Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sophie ships it, too!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your kudos and comments ^.^  
> Love it!

CHAPTER 7

 

*Jo, I screwed up. Feels like I'm dying.*

 

*God, Dean, what happened. Have a beer ready tonight, I'll come over to kick your bloody ass!*

 

It was just like Jo to send such an exasperated text message but hell, he deserved it. It was Wednesday and one week since Cas had walked out of his life. Dean had thought that he wouldn't mind that much, he thought that he would get over it and a part of him had been convinced that Cas would come back but he didn't, he didn't even call and he ignored Dean's messages and calls. Most of the time his cell phone was turned off.

 

The mechanic missed the other man terribly, he had never known such pain in his heart, it was as if a huge fist was scrunching his heart, pressing every little bit of life out of him. He didn't eat much these past few days, most of the time when he was at home he was just nursing a beer, hoping that the alcohol would numb the pain but he didn't dare to drink that much when he had little Sophie to care for. It was hard to pretend that he was happy for her, he smiled though he knew that it never reached his eyes. He hoped that she wouldn't see it or the red rims that sometimes circled his eyes, when he had cried, when he hadn't been able stay strong.

 

Every time when Dean lay down in the evenings, he felt the loneliness creep into bed next to him and he couldn't help but give in, crying, not able to hold back after a whole day of pretending for his little girl. It couldn't go on like this, he needed Cas back or he would just wither to nothing but sadness and hurt. Maybe Jo would be able to talk some sense into him, maybe she had an idea what he could do to just forget about Castiel. About the way the dancer looked at him with so much adoration and tenderness in his ocean blue eyes, the way his hands felt when he touched Dean in the most gentle way the mechanic had ever known and the little noises Cas made when he had Dean under him, all begging and pleading for more...

 

Fuck, he shouldn't think such things, it only fueled his bad mood and it surely wouldn't help him either. But what was he supposed to do? He just wished to hear Cas' voice again, he wanted those sweet nonsense back that they talked about when they went to bed, cuddling under the sheets, just glad to have the other close. And damn, Dean wanted him close, he wanted him to live with him and if he had the chance to turn back time, he would tell Sophie about Castiel. How stupid of him to think that she wouldn't be able to deal with it, her reaction when she had seen the men kissing had shown him very well how well she would take it. Damn him and his stupid mouth, damn that he always talked without thinking first.

 

“Yeah, great Dean, just great.” He mumbled as he let the hood of the car fall down. He had finally finished the old Ford, hoping that she would run without any problems, now. With an already dirty cloth he rubbed the grease and oil off his fingers. It was already two p.m. and he had to get Sophie from preschool. Yesterday he had driven her over to her ballet class as well but he hadn't dared to go in with her, not knowing what he should tell Cas. The other parents that were always there wouldn't help it either and so he just waited in his black car for his niece to come back. It was stupid, but when he talked to Cas again, he wanted them to be alone. Dean wasn't sure if he would ever get the chance to talk to him again and it was one of the things that ate him up.

 

“You call it a day?” Bobby asked from two cars over and Dean nodded, still lost in his own thoughts. “What's all this brooding mood about, son?” The older man asked and stepped in Dean's way when the mechanic wanted to leave the garage. Oh crap. He hadn't told anyone about their break-up yet and he wasn't sure if he could face it without his voice giving away how much it hurt him. It was okay with Jo, but Bobby was different.

 

“I broke up with Cas.” He said and wanted to dismiss the topic but Bobby grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it a little.

 

“It's better for you and Sophie.” Dean shook his head, avoiding eye contact, his gaze cast towards the floor.

 

“No. I hate that he's gone. It hurts, Bobby.” The man said, then shook the hand off his shoulder, leaving his friend behind puzzled. Sophie would already be waiting for him, he didn't have time to talk with Bobby, now, and he wasn't able to listen to someone who thought that it was good that he wouldn't see Cas again. He knew that it wasn't good, on the contrary, he had made the worst mistake of his life and he feared that there was nothing he could do to ever make it right again.

 

When he said behind the wheel of his black car, he took a few seconds to catch a deep breath and it took the whole ride over to his niece's school to be able to breathe normally again. He felt so broken and dead inside though Sophie made him cheer up a little. She hopped into the car next to him, kissing his cheek like she always did and since Cas was gone, it felt even better because it showed him that he wasn't alone and that she loved him.

 

“How was school today, Sweetie?” Dean asked with one of his well-trained fake smiles, turning down the music a little. When he was alone loud music seemed to help him shut out his dark thoughts.

 

“It was okay. We drew some pictures of the people we like the most. Shall I show them to you?” She was already grabbing her little back pack and opened the zipper but Dean shook his head no.

 

“Wait until we're at home. I can't watch your pictures while I drive, okay?”

 

“Okay.” She said, then turned up the volume of the radio again when “Sweet Child of Mine” came on and began to sing along, her voice ridiculously high pitched compared to that of the singer. He didn't sing along with her this time and when she noticed, she nudged his elbow. “Why don't you sing?” She inquired and stared at him until he answered.

 

“I don't feel like it, Sophie.” He said honestly. He didn't see the frown on her face as he was looking out of the windshield but she didn't sing along either as he drove them home and she wasn't as enthusiastic about her pictures any longer once they were home. Dean was curious though. “So will you show me your pictures? I'm pretty sure they're great.” He said as they went into the kitchen where he began to prepare dinner for them.

 

“Sure.” Sophie answered but she didn't look so sure any longer, grabbing the drawings to pull them out of her bag and place them on the table, making sure that three of them were covering a fourth. “Here they are.” She said when Dean came over to look at the first one. “That's you, of course, because you're my uncle and because I live with you.” She explained as he looked at a watercolor painting of himself. His little niece was really getting better, he could actually see that the person in the picture was really him.

 

“That's really nice, Sweetie.” He said and looked at the next. This was unmistakably Bobby, the plaid shirt and beard gave him away. The man in the picture was also a little bit round around the middle and it made Dean smile. “That's Bobby, right?” He asked and earned a beam from her.

 

“Yesss! You recognized him!” She squealed with joy, clapping her little hands together.

 

“You did a great job there.” Dean said honestly and looked at the last one that showed a blonde woman with slight curls around her face and a blue jeans and high heels. “Jo?” Dean asked and again Sophie smiled happily, delighted that her uncle was able to tell who the people she drew were. Dean was just about to turn back towards the stove when he noticed another picture that was covered by the others. Carefully he pulled it out, looking at it closely, while Sophie was closely watching him.

 

It broke his heart. There was him again in this one but he wasn't alone, there was a man in a black training suit next to him, his blue eyes and black hair leaving no doubt that this was Castiel. The men were holding hands in the picture and the sun was shining above them.

 

“That's...” He stopped when he noticed that a sob was close to rising in his chest, looking at his little blonde girl over the rim of the sheet he held in his hands.

 

“Cas.” She said and turned a little red. “I like him. And I thought you liked him, too. I saw you kissing the other day but since then he seems so sad during the ballet classes. Maybe he misses you?” Oh God. What was he supposed to say to her, now? He missed Cas so much that it hurt and now he knew that the dancer missed him as well. That changed things but he didn't know how to deal with all these damn feelings in his chest that suffocated him whenever he thought about that beautiful bastard.

 

“Wh – what did the other kids say when you painted this one?” Was all Dean could ask. He needed to know this one little thing.

 

“Nora thought it was cool, she likes Cas as well and she thinks he looks sad, too. Danny said that two guys shouldn't hold hands but I told him that it was okay if they're happy. That was okay, Dean, right?” She asked and her huge hazel eyes turned to him, not knowing if she had done something wrong. Her uncle was close to tears but he held it together and let his hand caress her hair.

 

“T'was right, Sophie.” He said. “Love is blind.” He had learned this the hard way...

 

“So will you bring me to my ballet class on Friday and kiss him again? Maybe he will be happier when he sees you?” Dean doubted that.

 

“Look, Sweetie... I don't think this is a good idea.. You know about that performance Cas takes place in? The one we have cards for?” She nodded. “He doesn't have a lot of time right now, we can't bother him.”

 

“It didn't look as if it bothered him last week.” What the...? Sophie looked at him, her face showing that she was skeptic. Yeah, he had really, really fucked it all up and that his girl was now talking about it with him made it even worse.

 

“Topic closed.” Dean said sternly and handed the paintings back to her, going back to cooking their meal. He was purposefully turning away from her, hoping that she wouldn't notice the tears on his cheeks.

 

**+XxX+**

 

Jo came over at six while Dean was in the bathroom with Sophie, making sure that she wouldn't cause a flood. She loved to take a bath but sometimes she just didn't care that she wasn't at the pool but at home and so it was safer when Dean stayed with her. The ring on the door forced him away from his little mermaid but he came back as soon as the door was opened, only to find Sophie's head covered by foam all over.

 

“Look, I'm Santa!” She squealed and he sighed a little. That girl was already looking forward to Christmas during summer.

 

“Hey, Santa.” Jo grinned from the door and crossed her arms over her chest. “I've been very good, so I think you should give me presents.” A fake pout underlined her statement and Sophie nodded eagerly.

 

“I can draw you something when I get out of the tub.” Her hazel eyes went over to Dean's. “It's okay, right? I can stay up to draw something for her?” The mechanic chuckled when the foam-beard bobbed up and down as she spoke and finally fell off.

 

“Yeah, It's okay.” He said, then took the shower head to wash the foam off of her hair and from her face, making sure that nothing reached her eyes. It had happened once and he had learned it then to avoid it. She was a little reluctant to get out of the tub but when Jo told her that she really wished for a nice drawing, she let herself being lifted out of the water and while Dean cleaned the tub, Jo wrapped her up in a towel and put on her pajamas. Sophie run over into her room and they heard her mumble as she pulled out her crayons and paper.

 

“What happened, Dean?” Jo asked when she came back into the bathroom and found the man sitting on the edge of the tub, his elbows resting on his knees and his face buried in his hands. He was the picture of misery and the woman already knew that it was worse than she had expected. “Dean?” When she spoke his name softly, he looked up as if he hadn't heard what she had said before, a little surprised that she was with him again.

 

“She saw us kissing.” Dean mumbled, helplessly looking around the bathroom, rolling his eyes this way and that, hoping to be able to blink the tears away. “And when she asked me if he was my boyfriend, I denied it.” His shoulders slumped and Jo could see that he was really broken hearted. It killed her to see him like this. “He said that it hurt him when I said it and that it hurt him before. He didn't want to be my 'dirty little secret any longer'.” Dean made quotations so Jo knew he was just repeating what Cas had told him. “The worst is that I saw a picture Sophie drew at school today. With Cas and me...holding hands, looking happy. She says he's sad as well. I feel so dumb, Jo.”

 

“Oh Dean...” She said and came over to sit on the rim of the tub next to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders. “Have you tried to explain it to him? That you're the most stupid human in the world and that you will change that for him?”  
  


“He doesn't answer my calls. And I just don't find the courage to ask him when I take Sophie to her ballet classes. I just wait in the car while she's in there.” Dean sighs and finally looks up into his friend's eyes. “I'm really stupid. But he ignores me as well, so I think he doesn't wanna hear anything I have to say. I get the message. He's done with me and maybe it's better for him. I'm no match at all. I hurt him without even noticing. He deserves better than me.” Jo rolled her eyes though she knew it was forbidden under Dean's roof but as Sophie wasn't here to see it...

 

“You're even more stupid than I thought. Dean, this man was coming to you even though you kept him a secret. It went on for two months, so what did you expect? Of course you hurt him. Sophie's smart and clever, do you really think she wouldn't be able to deal with it? You never even introduced him to me, he must have thought that you're ashamed of him or God knows what.”

 

“I love him.” The words fell from Dean's lips before he could stop them and for a moment there was a heavy silence, both letting it sink it.

  
“Does he know?” Jo asked, her voice a silent whisper to which Dean shook his head.

 

“We never said it. It was clear from the beginning though. At least from my side.” Dean hid his face in his hands again, rubbing it a little to distract himself.

 

“I knew it, Dean, it was obvious when you talked about him. Your eyes got brighter when you thought about him.” The words stung in his chest but he endured them, it was his own damn fault that the man had walked out of his life and he had had every right to be angry at the mechanic. “You have to get him back.” As if Dean didn't know it. He needed Cas like he needed air to breathe and most likely he was spoiled for the rest of his life just because he knew how Cas felt and tasted but the dancer wouldn't take him back.

 

“I don't know what could possibly convince him to come back to me. Cas ignores me and I guess I deserve it.”

 

“Yes, you do. But you should at least try.” Jo said carefully, hoping that Dean wouldn't refuse.

 

“I don't know how.” Dean said and raised his eyes from the floor to look at her again.

 

“You'll find a way, I'm sure, we should...” She stopped when Sophie came into the bathroom, eying the adults who sat on the rim of the tub curiously.

 

“Why're you still in here?” She asked. Jo got up from where she sat and ushered the little girl into her own room, leaving Dean alone, knowing that he needed some time for himself to clear his thoughts. When he was alone again, he got up and walked over to the sink, leaning his hands on both sides of it, staring at his poor reflection in the mirror. There were dark bags under his eyes and he was a little pale. This was really getting to him and he wasn't sure if he had the strength to face his hopes again if he tried to get Cas back again. If the dancer didn't want him back it would hurt even more...

 

With his hands he splashed some water into his face, hoping that it would make him feel better but it didn't really help. How could it be that just one man was able to make him feel so damn _hurt_? A sigh escaped him as he watched the droplets fall down his nose and cheeks, looking at himself, hating what he saw.

 

“Dean?” Jo asked and came back in, carefully approaching him, as if he was a hurt animal. “Shall I bring Sophie to bed?” She asked but he grabbed a towel and dried his face, giving his friend his best fake smile. 

 

“It's fine, Jo. I'll come over in a second.” 

 

“You cannot go on like this.” She said, her voice sad and seriously concerned.

 

“I know.”

 

** +XxX+ **

 

Two days later it didn't get better, it got worse. Dean sat on his sofa, the TV was already switched off but the man didn't move, staring at the  tickets in his hands. This weekend he and Sophie would go to the theater to see Castiel dance. His niece was already looking forward to it, but Dean wasn't sure how he felt about it. Normally he would love to see the man dance, it had been so great. Most likely it would remind him of their first night together and he prayed to whatever God there was that he wouldn't just lose it while watching his performance.

 

Maybe he should ask Jo to come along as well, she knew about him and Cas and she knew that he suffered. It would help him if she was with him. Tomorrow he would text her to ask her if she would accompany them.

 

With a heavy sigh the mechanic placed the tickets back on the table and got up from the sofa. He was tired and felt heavy but he knew that sleep wouldn't come easily. It was strange but he could still smell Cas in his bedroom and it tortured him to no end. Dean brushed his teeth and got out of his jeans and shirt, leaving him only in his boxers, ready to crawl under the covers of his bed, hiding from the world. He feared the next Friday, the thought of watching Cas on stage made his heart pound impossibly fast in his chest and he wasn't even sitting int the theater yet. What would his heart do then? Jump out of his chest? At least it wouldn't hurt anymore if it died completely within him. Tears rolled down his cheeks, he was so hoping to get over with the gala quickly and that he wouldn't have to face Cas on that evening.

 

“Dean?” A small sleepy voice said from the direction of the door and he sat up, looking over to see Sophie stand in the doorway with Mr. Piggy in her arms. “I can't sleep.” She came closer to his bed, eying him in the dim light of his room. “And I know you don't sleep much either.” Damn her and her power of observation. Clever girl. Dean sighed and etched back from edge of the bed, pulling the blanket up, holding it open for her to crawl into bed next to him. She gladly took the invitation and snuggled into his side.

 

“That happens from time to time, Sweetie.” Dean said and she nodded.

 

“You miss Cas.” It wasn't even a question. How could she nail down his problem so accurately? “And I know that he misses you, too. He asked me if you were okay after my last ballet class.” She said and looked up at Dean, her little nose wrinkling in thought as it did so often. The man waited for her to go on but she didn't say anther word.

 

“And what did you tell him?” He asked, worried, hopeful, fearing what she might have given away. 

 

“That you don't sleep well and that you look tired and sad all day and that you don't sing along to our songs any more.” Sophie answered. At least she was honest but what did this mean? Cas hadn't called or sent him a short text, nothing, so this meant he didn't care? No, if he didn't care he wouldn't have asked his little girl about her uncle... Maybe there was still some hope left, some tiny spark but Dean clung to it like a drowning man. “Will you meet him after his performance? You should kiss him again so that he doesn't look so sad any more, Dean. And you will be happier, too”

 

“You will make a great matchmaker someday, Sweetie...” Dean whispered, his voice dripping with sarcasm but she didn't get it and just beamed at him.

 

“Jo said that, too, when I told her she should ask Charlie out.” Charlie? Wow... He learned a lot tonight. 

 

“We should try to sleep now. You can stay if you want.” Dean said, grabbing her to pull her into his arms, her back pressed against his chest. Her familiar scent made him forget about Castiel and soothed him a lot. She nodded and grabbed Mr. Piggy tight to her chest, cuddling deeper into his warmth.

 

“Good night, Dean.” She whispered with a yawn. 

 

“Night, Sweetie.” He kissed her hair and watched her tiny form as she slowly drifted off to sleep but for a while he was still lost in his own thoughts, contemplating if Castiel would still be interested in him or not. Maybe he should really risk it and try to talk to the dancer after his performance... An idea formed in his head and again his heart began to pound heavily in his chest, this time from nervousness when he thought things over and over again in his head. His hopes rose, making him wish that it wasn't in vain.

 

The first thing Dean did the next morning was grabbing his cell phone to send Jo a text message:

 

*Would you accompany Sophie and me to the ballet on Friday? Ticket is on me.*

 

** TBC **


	8. At The Ballet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was hard for me to write... I knew what would happen but the words didn't come when I tried it for the first time. I also thought this was going to be the last chapter but Dean and Cas seem to have a mind of their own and I let them have their way ;)
> 
> Thank you for your comments and kudos! That's what keeps me going!
> 
> Hope you like this chapter!

CHAPTER 8

 

Today was Friday and Dean, Sophie and Jo were on their way to the theater where they would watch Cas’ performance. The mechanics hands were shaking and restlessly fumbling with the hem of his shirt but he tried to keep it cool otherwise. Of course Jo was able to see what went on behind his collected façade but she didn’t say a word in front of Sophie, she just shot him a glance from time to time to let him know that he wasn’t alone tonight. For the first time in ages Dean had allowed someone else to drive his car, because he was way too shaken to bring them to their destination safely and so it was better that Jo drove.

 

Dean hadn’t slept in days, his brain was thinking about Castiel and what he could do to get him back constantly, not allowing him to close his eyes for an hour or two and today it was even worse because he would see the man he missed so much in about two hours or less. There was a plan in Dean’s head but he didn’t know if he could muster the courage to do it, afraid that Cas might reject him, so he was still pondering what to do tonight and when it would be best to approach the dancer. Fuck, this was hard, he had never missed someone who wasn’t family like he missed Cas now and when he thought about the possibility that he would reject him tonight and that they would never see again, his heart broke a little more in his chest. Now he knew what people meant when they said that love hurts. Duh! A part of him wished that he had never have to make this experience.

 

But going back to dating women for a night or two wasn’t possible after all that. Cas had spoiled him for every other person on this planet, maybe even for the rest of his life and he hated that he was so vulnerable and broken just because of one damn person. A beautiful person through and through. Cas really deserved an apology. Dean had never meant to hide him and hurt him but it had happened and Dean wanted to make up for it. Hopefully tonight.

 

A few weeks ago Castiel had told Dean that he was more than nervous about this evening. He hadn’t danced in front of such a huge audience in years and normally Dean would now be with him, holding him, kissing him and tell him that everything would go just fine but here he was, hoping that Cas would want to see him… Maybe the dancer had already found someone who soothed him behind the stage, someone who would take him home, someone who wasn’t Dean. This was even worse than imagining that Cas would reject him. Damn, he was so in over his head that Dean almost forgot that he wasn’t a dumb little teenage girl but a grown man who shouldn’t think about his crush too much. And he was definitely thinking about Cas way too much. Even Jo could see it, because right now she took one hand off the wheel and covered his that were still playing with the hem of his shirt nervously.

 

“Everything will be fine..” She said lowly, so that Sophie wouldn’t hear her in the backseat. Which was close to impossible because the girl was singing along with the music from the tape. Dean nodded in Jo’s direction and folded his hands in his lap, hoping that he was able to keep them there for a few minutes. “You look really gorgeous tonight, Dean, he will take you back, don’t worry.”

 

“How can you be so sure?” Dean murmured under his breath, unable to raise his voice, he was just tired of this all. Jo shrugged.

 

“You’re a stunner. And if you pull some romantic stunt tonight he won’t be able to say no.” Her eyes flickered over to his gloomy face. “But you have to put a smile on your lips, otherwise you will scare him.” An exasperated sigh. “You look like the Grinch when you frown like that.” With a laugh her eyes went back to the road and she pulled the car into the parking lot of the theater, bringing it to a halt in a far corner of the parking lot just as Dean always did. No one should hurt his baby…

 

“Are we there? Will we see Cas dance, now?” Sophie piped up from the backseat and Jo was satisfied when she noticed the smile that Dean produced for the little girl.

 

“Yeah, let’s get out and get in there. He will be one of the last dancers but you will like the others as well, I’m sure.” He said and unbuckled to get out of the car, breathing in the fresh air. Summer was coming to an end and it was a little colder now, once the sun set, Dean liked it better that way, it made it easier to get your head clear.

 

“I wanna learn to dance like this, too. I wanna dance on a stage and in front of an audience. Would you come to watch me?” Sophie asked Jo and Dean laughed a little. She was already getting better, her steps were sure and she knew how to move when she showed him what she had learned after her classes. Seeing her dance had reminded him of Castiel. It was wrong but he had always been glad when she had stopped dancing because it hurt a lot to see what Sophie had learned from the man Dean missed so much.

 

“You will be a great dancer, darling.” Jo laughed and they went inside, pushing their way through the crowded foyer to get into the huge hall with the stage. It was already crowded in here, too, people were talking animatedly and it was loud. Dean hadn’t been to the theater in years – the last time was at school when their teacher had insisted that they get some cultural experience – and now he knew why: it was dark, the air was too thick too breathe and it was depressing. Or maybe he just was someone who didn’t appreciate the excited atmosphere.

 

Whatever it was, today it was worse than ever. His hands began shaking when his eyes fell onto the stage because within a few minutes he would see Cas up there and he would dance again, this time in front of a huge audience, not just Dean and somehow it disturbed him a little because he knew how deliciously sexy Cas looked while dancing. The dancer wasn’t even his any longer, maybe he wasn’t even missing Dean but then he wouldn’t have asked Sophie about the mechanic, right? God, this was confusing and annoying. This had to be over tonight, he needed to know for sure that Cas didn’t want him and if he didn’t, Dean would just move on and forget about him. It wouldn’t be that easy, he knew but what else could he do?

 

“Dean..:” Jo whispered and leaned over in her seat to speak close to his ear. “You look like someone who’s about to lose his mind. Hold it together, be patient and have faith, okay?”

 

“Yeah.” Dean mumbled. Waiting was hell, he had always lacked patience but this was harder than anything before and he was still contemplating when it would be best to approach the dancer. Maybe he should search for him behind the stage when he was done with his performance or maybe he should wait until later to meet him in the foyer like it was some coincidence but he wasn’t even sure if Castiel would stay so that they could meet. There wasn’t much time left and Dean should make a decision so that the chance to get his dancer back wouldn’t slip unused.

 

When the lights turned dark and the first dancers entered the stage, Dean’s heart picked up speed again and he was sure that he had never been so fucking nervous in his entire life. It should be a good sign that he had finally found someone who made him feel this way but it didn’t help if Castiel wasn’t with him. No woman or other man would be able to soothe the pain if he had lost the dancer forever, he just knew that he was spoiled for the rest of his life. If Cas would come back to him he would be the happiest person in this hall. On this planet even. His heart made a funny jolt when he imagined holding Cas again, he so hoped that he would let him, that he would forgive him that Dean hadn’t introduced him to anyone.

 

Hell, Cas was his first man, he had never known that he was interested in them until he met the dancer and there had been a lot of things he had to think through at that time. They didn’t seem important, now, and maybe they hadn’t been so important then but it was too late, he wasn’t able to make it undone that he had hurt Castiel and so he could only pray that the beautiful ballet dancer would give him the chance to make up for it properly.

 

The evening was longer than Dean would have imagined, there were many dancers before Castiel and Sophie loved them all, she was happily telling him that she wanted to be that good someday and it made Dean equally happy because he loved to see that she had finally found something she liked to do. She was very quiet for a girl her age, her hazel eyes were watching the dancers on stage with fascination, it seemed like she wanted to absorb each and every movement they made. Seeing her this way made Dean feel a little better and it was easier for him to breathe when he wasn’t thinking about Cas every second. That changed when Sophie grabbed his sleeve and excitedly looked up at him, pointing at the stage.

 

“Look, that’s Cas.” She squealed and leaned over Dean to make Jo aware of the dancer, too. “That’s my teacher, Jo. Look, he’ll dance, now.” Then she sat back in her seat, clasping her hands together while waiting for the man to start his performance. It was hard to tell who was more nervous: Dean or Sophie.

 

When the raven haired man took his position in the middle of the stage, Dean was close to forgetting where he was. He gnawed on his bottom lip as soon as the dancer fell to the ground with the first notes of the song Dean knew so well and began his sensual dance in front of the whole crowd, his body moving like that of a God. A gasp escaped his lips when Castiel’s hips moved upwards, Dean knew too damn well how they felt moving against his own. Jo could read his thoughts and she grinned at him, it was so obvious what went on in her friend, it was written all over his tense face, he wanted to go up there and cover Cas’ body – most likely with his own – so that the audience wasn’t able to see what was only for Dean.

 

Seeing him dance was torture. The last time Dean had seen him was the day when Cas had walked out of his life and he had remembered his handsome face but it was even better to see it. Castiel was concentrating, sometimes his eyes were screwed shut and there was this fine layer of sweat again, covering his features and most likely the rest of his gorgeous body as well but thank God it was hidden under his tight black suit. Otherwise Dean would freak out right here and now, though he was already close to doing it nevertheless. Fuck, Cas was hot. His movements, his concentrated face, his tousled black hair, his well-built body beneath the tight suit made Dean want to get over there and tell him that he was his.

 

A slow passage of the song came and Castiel kneeled on the ground, his movements sure but Dean caught something that hadn’t been there before: the raven haired dancer was shaking slightly, his arms and legs trembled, just a little bit, barely able to see it if you weren’t watching as closely as Dean did. When electric blue eyes opened, the mechanic saw why the man was trembling and it broke his heart to pieces: A tear slipped from Cas’ eye, slowly running down his cheek as he ignored it, not wiping it away but going on dancing, maybe hoping that no one would notice. Dean did and Dean knew why Cas fell apart on that stage: because he remembered Dean, he knew that he and Sophie were sitting between all those faces of the audience, watching him while he couldn’t go home with them when this was over.

 

Dean would make sure that Castiel would go home with him tonight, he couldn’t stand to see him suffer, he saw the raw pain on his face, the effort to hide what tore him apart but he failed, the mechanic could read him like an open book. The need to take Cas into his arms grew with every second that he watched him, it was overwhelming and within a split second Dean had made his decision: he wouldn’t wait. He couldn’t. His heart was melting and falling apart while he watched Castiel and now that he had seen him crying, he was determined to stop those tears.

 

The song came to an end and the audience was applauding, some where even whistling and getting up from their seats. Castiel had done great and before Dean could think closer about it, he got up from his seat as well but he didn’t just stand in front of it, he made his way over to the aisle, making sure not to step on feet and women’s small bags. The man’s hands were shaking violently when he stood in the aisle, looking at the stage where Cas just got up from his final position on the floor, stepping towards the edge of the stage to bow in front of all those people. Fuck, he was beautiful. Dean could see more tears fall from his eyes but Castiel tried to hide it, he put on a smile that never reached his eyes and it killed Dean even more to see him like this. On knees that felt like jelly he made a few more steps towards the stage, silently praying that Cas would see him, that he wouldn’t go back behind the curtain before Dean had the chance to tell him that he was sorry.

 

Blue eyes roamed over the faces in the crowd, it seemed as if Cas was looking for someone but in the end those oceans locked with Dean’s green ones when Cas saw him close to the stage. Dean’s eyes were a silent plea, his lips were slightly open, he was breathing heavily, afraid, torn, hopeful, lost. The dancer took in within seconds and another wild sob shook his lean body as his hand came up to cover his mouth. Dean could see that he was shocked, maybe he hadn’t seen Dean sitting in the audience before, maybe he had thought that he would let him down on such an event but there he was, standing alone in the crowd, his arms limply by his side, his heart hammering in his chest, aching to hold the dancer.

 

Seconds stretched to an eternity as Dean waited for SOMETHING from Cas. The dancer just stood there, staring down at him with wide blue eyes that still swam in tears. It took him ages to wake up from that spell and within seconds he had climbed from the stage to run towards Dean, falling around his neck like a drowning man seeking for a lifeline. Instinctively Dean’s arms came up to embrace him as well and for a few minutes they just stood there, holding each other tight, both trembling like a leaf, both not willing to let go ever.

 

“I’m so sorry, Cas.” Dean whispered into his hair, his hands caressing the black strands and every other inch of the dancer he could reach. Castiel smelled like sweat and fear and so much like himself that Dean couldn’t stop breathing I his scent, unwilling to pull back from that embrace. “I’ll tell the whole world, just come back to me.” He said, desperate to convince Cas though it wasn’t really necessary, the raven haired wouldn’t be able to walk away from him if you threatened his life… Both men didn’t hear the audience applauding any longer, the sounds were shut out, they just saw and heard each other, not caring that some people were even hooting as they embraced so closely.

 

It was Dean who looked up first, he needed to see Castiel’s face close up, he wanted to see the blue eyes and found them looking into his own, holding so much adoration and something beyond that it made his head swirl for a few seconds. His huge hands grabbed the dancer’s face and he held him like the precious gem he was to him.

 

“I love you, Castiel.” He whispered and within a split second the raven haired was all over him again, his lips eagerly sealing Dean’s, splitting them apart to deepen the kiss as soon as he got the chance, relishing in Dean’s sweet surrender as he closed his eyes and gave himself over to this man completely. Cas still tasted like honey, it was wonderful to feel him so close and when he realized that everything would be fine from now on, a tear ran down Dean’s face without him even noticing as he helplessly mewled into Cas’ wicked mouth, enjoying the firm hands that held him at the back of his head and neck to pull him even closer. When they came apart for air, Dean’s hands wandered restlessly through Cas’ face, admiring the beauty of the man in front of him, not letting him say a word.

 

“ I’ll take you home with me tonight.” He said. “You need to meet Sophie and Jo, they’re here.” Dean turned around and found Jo and Sophie standing behind him, his niece on his best friend’s arm and both were grinning like maniacs. When Sophie saw that her uncle had turned towards them, she wanted to get down to the floor and Jo let her run over to Dean and Cas, following her slowly.

 

“ See, Dean? I knew he would smile again when you kiss him.” Sophie said, making Dean blush violently. For the first time he got aware of where he was and how many eyes were watching them in such an intimate moment. “Is he your boyfriend  _ now _ ?” The girl inquired and Dean picked her up, holding her on his arms to cover the blush on his face, burying it in her blonde hair. His eyes searched Cas' and the man nodded.

 

“Guess I am.” The dancer smiled, his lips pulling up into a lopsided grin. God, he was gorgeous. Jo came closer, stopping right behind Dean, letting one hand rest on his shoulder as she smiled and nodded at Castiel. “I have to get back behind the stage, I will change into something more comfortable and then I'll come out to the foyer. Will you wait for me there, Dean?” The mechanic leaned in for another kiss, smiling as he watched Cas get back up on stage, watching him disappear.

 

Most of the people in the theater were still watching them when they made their way towards the door, leaving this room behind to meet Cas as soon as possible. Dean couldn't wait to hold him in his arms again, he was grinning from ear to ear when they stepped into the foyer that was more brightly lit then the hall they just came from.

 

“Hey Sophie.”  Jo said to the girl on Dean's arms. “I have an idea: what about a slumber party tonight? Just you, me, our pajamas, a DVD and loooots of hot chocolate until we fall asleep on the sofa under our blankets. Sounds good?” The woman asked and left Dean puzzled. What the hell was this about? But too late, Sophie was already clapping her hands, bobbing up and down on his arms so that he had to set her down after a few seconds. She was really getting too big for carrying her around for too long, he thought bitterly. His eyes searched for Jo's but she just winked at him and knelt down in front of his girl.

 

“Yes! And in the morning we will make scrambled eggs and toast like the last time, okay?” This was like a landslide, now, Dean wouldn't be able to stop it.

 

“What the hell, Jo?” He whispered when she looked up at him.

 

“I thought you wanted some time to yourselves? You will introduce me to Cas when he comes out from behind the stage and give me your car keys. In the morning you can get back your girl and your car.” He was dumbfounded by her words, not able to argue. Yes, it would be nice to have the house to himself for their first night together but he didn't want to hide anything from Sophie any longer, so why.. “I don't want her to get scarred, okay?” Jo added and got up from where she was kneeling when Castiel walked over towards them, his face lit by a bright smile that made his electric blue eyes sparkle. Dean grabbed him around the waist once he was close enough and pressed him into his side, gluing them together.

 

“Cas, I want you to meet Jo. My best friend.” Dean said and the two shook hands.

 

“Nice to meet you. Finally.” The blonde woman said,  her smile mirroring the one on Cas' face. She was so happy for Dean that she wasn't able to conceal it. “Was about time that he pulled his head out of his ass... And he was right: you really are a beauty.” It wasn't Cas who blushed at her compliment but Dean. 

 

“Cas, Jo and I will have a slumber party tonight.” Sophie squealed. “Will you come with Dean when he picks me up tomorrow?”

 

“Sweetie, give Cas a break.” Dean said, his big hand covering her mouth, pulling her back against him. An apologetic smile towards the man in his arm. “She's too excited tonight.” He explained, but Cas just threw his head back and gave one of those throaty laughs Dean adored so much.

 

“It's okay, Dean.”  And to Sophie Cas said: “If you want me to come with you r uncle , I'll be there tomorrow.” Dean nodded.  He wanted Castiel by his side when he got home tonight, when he got up tomorrow, when he picked up Sophie from Jo, when he went to the grocery store, when he cooked dinner, when he was at home, when he was on holiday and when he grew old. Dean was sure that he would never Castiel go, the weeks without him had shown that it wasn't possible to be separated for too long.

 

“ Cool!” Sophie said with a smile  while taking Jo's hand. “We have to go now. We have a slumber party.” Were her next solemnly spoken words. Jo held out her hand towards Dean but he just stared at it dumbly.

 

“What?”

 

“The car keys, Dean.” Jo grinned. “Unless you want your little niece and me walking all the way home to me?” Of course he didn't want this, but he had never before given his baby away. Hell, barely anyone had been allowed to drive her. Hesitantly he reached into his pocket and gave the keys to his friend.

 

“Treat her well, Jo. No scratches, you hear me?” Dean said sternly as he watched his keys disappear in Jo's little hand bag.

 

“Of course, darling, and I will also make sure that Sophie gets something to eat, right?” She asked sweetly, mocking him because he trusted the woman with his child but not with his car... Sometimes he was dumb, he knew it but damn, he was like he was. Castiel gave a low chuckle next to him and his black vintage car was already forgotten when he thought about a long night with his old new lover.

 

Before Jo and Sophie left, Dean knelt down and took the girl into his arms, instructing her to behave well while she was with the woman. When he got up he hugged Jo as well, whispering a “Thank you!” into her ear. It made Jo grin because she knew what Cas and Dean would do tonight and so she left with Sophie.

 

“It's nice of her  to give us some time alone.” Cas said once Dean's little girl and his best friend were out of the door. Strong arms encircled Dean from behind and the mechanic leaned back into the warmth Cas provided, enjoying the presence of the other man with every fibre of his being. He had missed the dancer so much and he only understood how much, now. “This will give me the chance to make you scream tonight.” Castiel whispered into his ear, making him shiver in anticipation. “And I can shamelessly take you wherever I please  so that you will still feel me even when you go to work on Monday.” 

 

Dean gulped, all his blood was suddenly running south and he hoped that no one would come by and see him in his aroused state in the middle of the foyer with a dancer pressed to his back. But damn, wasn't that what had separated him from Cas in the first place? He should be glad that the man was here with him, now, that he held him and murmured such sweet promises into his ear. To hell with it! Even if the whole wide world was watching it was okay with Dean if only Castiel stayed with him. Slender fingers made their way into the waistline of his pants and Dean gave a – very male! - whimper when they touched naked skin by his hip.

 

“I wanna go home, now.” He said forlorn and Cas came up next to him, grabbing his hand in his own to lead him out of the theater into the cool night air. A few people passed them by but Dean wasn't ashamed or afraid, he was proud that such a beautiful man lead him to his car that was parked on the employee's parking lot behind the huge building. The dark red sedan was old but in a great condition, Dean saw it at the first glance and he realized that he had never seen or noticed Cas' car before.

 

Within the blink of an eye, his back was pressed against the door of said car, a hungry tongue in his mouth and hands roamed all over his body, still over his shirt. Castiel's kiss was frantic, the dancer poured everything he had into it because he wanted Dean to know that he had been missed as well and he took his time to thoroughly map his lover's mouth, loving the wonderful noises Dean made just for him.

 

“Cas...” The name fell from his mouth when the man looked up into his eyes as if he was searching for something deep inside Dean's soul.

 

“I'm so sorry for the way I left you.” Cas said then and it took Dean off guard. Wasn't he the one who had hurt the man so deeply by hiding him from his friends and little family? The question must have been obvious on the mechanic's face because Castiel took a step back and opened the passenger door for Dean to climb in. “I have some explaining to do, right?” Dean nodded, not really knowing where this was going, wondering what Cas could possibly have to explain. The dancer got into the car as well but he didn't start it yet, he just sat behind the wheel and stared off into a distance that Dean wasn't able to see.

 

“When I lived in  Los Angeles , I was with a man. I think I told you about it, but never too much because, well, this is the past and long gone.” He started, puzzling Dean even more. “He was my first real boyfriend and lover, I had never been with another man for longer than a few weeks before and that is the reason why I didn't know better.” Dean didn't really like where this was going, it sounded as if Cas had learned a hard lesson back then and he already felt pity for the raven haired. 

 

“His name was  Nick. I was so new to all this that I never questioned why he hid me from his friends and family, from his whole social life even. I thought it was just normal because we were two guys in...love.” The last word was spit out. “ It went on for two years and I thought I was happy. But then I learned why I never met someone from his life.” By now Dean could already guess where this was heading. “I had a key to his apartment and one night I chose to come over by surprise because we hadn't seen each other in days. I was the one who was more surprised I guess.” Cas' hands tightened on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white. “He was in bed with a woman. She was his wife.”  
  
Dean's head swam and he felt the pain as if it was his own. How could someone cheat on a sweet creature like Cas? What man was able to hide a wife for two years? He knew that some really fucked up people lived on this planet but when you heard something like this first hand it was different.

 

“She lived in the other part of the town because of her job. Nick had managed to keep his two different lives apart for more than two years, Dean and in the end I was the one who paid. He said that we could go on now that I knew but the thought just made me sick. He didn't just ruin my life but that of the woman as well. It was crazy. I never knew that you could get hurt so damn much.” That had been the reason why Dean had kept away from love for such a long time, his friends and family enough for him, his body's needs stilled from time to time by some random woman.

 

“When I didn't want to tell Sophie or introduce you to my friends you thought I might be like this man...” Dean said. It wasn't a question but Cas nodded slowly nevertheless.

 

“I got scared the longer it took you and that evening sent me through my personal hell again. I'm sorry I reacted this way... When you told Sophie that we were just friends after kissing me I just freaked out and I was too scared to face you again. I was afraid of what you might tell me.” Dean reached out his hands and pried  Cas' fingers off the wheel, holding them in his own.

 

“I don't have a wife. I was just being a dick.” Dean mumbled. “But I wanna change this for you. You deserve better. I don't wanna hide you any longer, I wanna show off my beautiful lover and tell everyone about you. Sophie knew the whole time... She said you would feel better when I kiss you. She drew pictures of us being together.” A little chuckle. “Guess she would love to have you with us. I was misjudging her capability of things like this.” Cas nodded again, then his vivid blue eyes turned towards Dean.

 

“Are we good? Being away from you for so long was hell...”  Cas confessed and made Dean's heart melt. He knew exactly what the dancer was talking about. With a smile he leaned in closer to Castiel and caught his lips, caressing them with his own for a few seconds before Cas deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into Dean's mouth, slowly making love to it. The feels behind this kiss were deeper than Dean had ever known, he was happy and relieved that they were here together, kissing and breathing in each others moans. “I would love to take you right here and now, Dean, but the first time will be gentle and sweet, not in a car. That comes later.” Dean grinned.

 

“And it will be my car then!” He said, making them both laugh a little. “Drive us home, Cas. I can't wait much longer.

 

 

**TBC**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be some smutty smut ^.^"


	9. Relief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mostly PWP. Ooooops!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter. I'm sorry it took me so damn long but I barely had time to write.  
> Feels strange that it ends here...
> 
> Thank you for all your support on this, it really kept me going!!!

CHAPTER 9

 

On the way from his car to Dean's house, Cas held the mechanic's hand in his own, pulling him up onto the patio with him where they kissed languidly. A few weeks ago Dean would have pulled away but now he just enjoyed Castiel's mouth on his as the dancer's delicate hands rested on his hips, pulling their groins together. It was obvious that Cas wanted him badly and Dean's mind was already gone but neither of them wanted to rush things, they both wanted this sweet and slow and gentle. They had done this before but this time was different nevertheless. They needed to show the other how they felt, what made them do this in the first place.

 

In the beginning Dean had been driven by lust and curiosity but now he was sure that this went deeper and he wanted Cas to feel it. Cas needed to feel this. Again Dean's thoughts went back to their conversation in the car and again he felt sorry that he had brought Cas back to his worst nightmare with his words. He gripped the back of Cas' head tighter, holding him close, loving the way he mewled into his mouth with each kiss.

 

“We should go inside.” Cas mumbled as his lips went over to Dean's ear, gently nibbling the lobe between his teeth. The mechanic just nodded, unable to say a word, he was too far gone already, lost in Cas' ministrations.  After another few minutes of Dean doing nothing to open the door, Cas' hands went down his sides, wandering into the pockets of his jeans to look for the keys, finding them but not before Dean had moaned at feeling Cas' fingers just below his waistline. The dancer grabbed the keys and pulled them out of the jeans pocket, opening the door for them. Dean just stared at him, he hadn't even realized what Cas had been doing until the man shoved him into the house with gentle hands, closing the door behind them once they were inside.

 

That was the moment Cas turned into an animal. His hands came up to rip Dean's shirt and undershirt over his head in one go and a split second later his pants and boxers slid down his legs, he was naked within seconds, standing in the middle of his corridor, watching Cas with huge green eyes as the dancer took a step back to watch the other man with wild blue eyes.

 

“I missed you, Dean.” He whispered, his voice hoarse with desire, his gaze never leaving Dean who just stepped out of his shoes and pants, not in the least ashamed to be scrutinized by Castiel's intense blue eyes. He loved those eyes, he loved how they took in every little inch of his tan, freckled skin, every rise and fall of his chest, every muscle of his stomach, the v-line of his hip bones, his erect member, that was desperately waiting for Cas' touch. “You're beyond beautiful. I cannot wait to have you on your back, begging for my mouth to suck you off.”  
  
“Cas...” Dean mumbled and closed his eyes, unable to process Cas' words coolly.

 

“What, Dean?” He asked and stepped closer, his fingers reaching out to gently tickle down Dean's sides, evoking a ragged breath from the man.

 

“Don't tease me too much. It was way too long...”

 

“I know. I didn't have sex since the last time with you either.” Castiel rasped into his ear, stepping even closer to his lover, encircling him with his arms to let his hands rest on his taut ass, squeezing a little. It nearly drove Dean insane, he needed more, he needed to feel Castiel. He was a little relieved that the man said that he hadn't had sex just like Dean...

 

“Take off your clothes, Cas, I wanna feel your skin on mine.” He pleaded and gasped when the dancer took a step away from him, making him open his eyes at the loss of his warmth. Cas slowly opened his white button down shirt, button by button, his fingers not even quivering in the slightest. If Dean would have done it, his hands would have shaken like leaves... Green eyes darted down to Cas' waist, as he swayed his hips from side to side a little, moving to a slow rhythm only he was able to hear, but it didn't matter, it was wonderful, it was so damn sexy to see Cas stripping for him.

 

A gasp escaped Dean's lips when he looked back into Cas' face: the man was biting his lower lip, his eyes nearly black with desire as they locked with those forest green depth of the other man. His shirt was finally off his shoulders, he wore nothing underneath and Dean came a little closer to open the button of his his jeans, pulling the zipper down, then the jeans down Cas' strong legs. A dancer's legs. He couldn't wait to have them straddling him on the bed – or wherever they would end up doing this. He groaned when he thought about it but Cas' strong hands on his face grounded him.

 

The soft wide mouth of the dancer was crashing down on Dean's, melting them together, kissing him in such a dirty way that Dean got even harder from it, his cock leaking precum. Castiel pressed their bodies flush together while they were kissing and Dean's member throbbed between them as it came in contact with Cas' warm skin. The moan that escaped Dean wasn't human but Cas swallowed it, deepening the kiss even more until they were both left breathless and gasping for air when they came apart.

 

“Can't you just take me already?” Dean panted, his breath heaving with every breath he took. Castiel's smile was predatory, evil even and he grabbed Dean's shoulders, slowly pushing him back towards his bedroom. The mechanic trusted Cas completely, he let himself being lead without looking behind his back once and in the end Cas shoved him onto the bed where he lay on his back, watching the dark eyes of his beautiful lover.

 

“Oh no, Dean, I need to punish you a little.” Cas cooed, grabbing something from the hook behind the door. It were two of Dean's scarf and seeing the man coming towards him evoked a low groan in Dean's chest.

 

“Cas...” He growled and tried to get away but the dancer's strong legs straddled him on the bed faster than he could imagine, holding him down and in place. Blue eyes looked down at him with a merciless smirk and Dean realized that Cas was really looking forward to doing this to him. God, this man would kill him... Slowly Cas grabbed Dean's hands and pressed them onto the pillow right over his head, holding his wrists down while his other hand run the scarf around the bedpost, then each end around one of Dean's wrists. They were staring into each others eyes the whole time, both breathing heavily.

 

The younger man trusted Cas completely, he didn't even think about ending this before it began and when the dancer held up the other scarf with a smile, Dean nodded invisibly, giving his approval to do this. Actually he was looking forward to it, hoping that Cas wouldn't make it too hard for him. Green eyes closed when the scarf came down to cover them and Castiel made at knot at the side of Dean's head, just above his ear.

 

“Relax, Dean.” Cas whispered against his ear, letting his breath ghost over the sensitive shell, making the man quiver under him. “I'll make this good for you, it will last forever.” Dean wasn't sure if this was what he wanted, his cock was lying heavy on his stomach, he was hard beyond belief, he needed to feel Castiel, he wanted the dancer right now but obviously Cas had other plans.

 

Fingers wandered down over his exposed body, teasing him with feather light touches but whenever he leaned towards the hands, Cas pulled them away only to tickle another sensitive area of Dean's body. And Cas remembered them well, he had stored them all in his mind to torture his lover, now. After an eternity of just touching the other man, tickling and stroking him, Cas' lips came down as well, blowing soft kisses onto naked skin and sometimes his wicked tongue darted out to taste the salty skin that was covered in a thin layer of sweat because – damn it! - Dean was so lost already that he feared he would come from just those light touches and caresses.

 

He had lost track of time, Cas' ministrations turned his brain to nothing but mush but the man never touched him where he most needed to feel him. Maybe it was better because Dean felt as if he would just explode if Cas just run his finger over his length. A scream rose in his chest when he felt his lover's lips close to his tip, breath running down, making him throb nearly painfully.

 

“So soon, Dean?” Cas whispered, then closed his lips around Dean, loving the dirty noise that fell from the mechanic's mouth, Dean was going wild, he wasn't able to see what Cas was up to next and he wasn't able to touch his lover, it was the most erotic thing he had ever done so why did it feel like torture. The sweetest, hottest torture he could imagine and it was so damn good, so sweet and bitter. He felt every touch as if it was the first and the last, he could hear Castiel's little mewls because the dancer enjoyed as well and it nearly drove him insane.

 

“You... - oh God, Cas!” Dean whimpered, not able to finish what he had been about to say because a warm tongue was licking it's way up Dean's member, from the base to the tip, tracing that vein. Damn, Cas knew what he was doing, he knew what would make Dean a begging mess and he used this knowledge, every little piece of information he got.

 

Greedy hands grabbed the younger man's hips, holding him down firmly, his nails biting into the soft skin, they would sure leave crescent moon shaped scars, a dirty little memento of what they did. Dean's hips bucked under Cas' hands but the raven haired held him firmly in place, letting Dean feel that he was stronger, that he was taking the lead in this and Dean loved every second of it.

 

“Cas... Cas, please, please...” The words just fell from his lips without him even noticing, he didn't know that he was moaning his lover's name like a prayer or that he begged for God knows what, he just _felt_ what the man did to his, his senses on overdrive. “Fuck, _Cas!_ ” Dean screamed when the dancer lazily massaged his balls between his fingers. If this wouldn't stop he would come within a few seconds, he was close, so close but he couldn't find the words to tell Cas, his mind was disconnected from his mouth, so he just mumbled in sweet ecstasy, whimpering when he tried to hold back.

 

“I want you to come for me, Dean.” Cas moaned. He could already feel Dean's member throb in his mouth, he knew the man was close to exploding down his throat and he wanted this so much.

 

“N – no, Cas, so good.” Dean's whole body trembled, the man was squirming underneath Cas' lips, so lost, so beautiful. A gentle bite into the soft flesh just beneath Dean's tip and his muscles tensed, his body going rigid as he felt that wonderful tight knot in the pit of his stomach explode, his orgasm ripping through him like a hurricane. Cas' gentle mouth sucked him through it, the dancer swallowed everything eagerly, licking Dean's spent member once the blonde fell back into the pillows, panting heavily, the bed spinning under him.

 

Cas waited a few minutes, patiently watching Dean come down from his height, lovingly stroking his sides. It was great to see Dean come apart for him. “I have dreamed of this.” Castiel murmured, when Dean was finally breathing even again. He felt Cas move on the bed and after a few seconds the lean body of his lover was hovering over him, radiating warmth, heat even. A mewl escaped Dean's chest when he felt Cas' hard member on his stomach, the man slowly rubbing it against those tight muscles as he came up to kiss Dean with everything he had.

 

So many feelings in just one kiss made Dean's member twitch with new interest. So soon... Fuck he was horny after such a long time without Cas. “I missed this so much, Dean, I missed you.” The dancer breathed, his hands caressing every inch of his lover's body again but it still made him mad with desire, he couldn't get enough of these gentle touches, he was already shaking with need again.

 

“Cas...” It was more a moan than the name of the other man but the raven haired looked up anyway from kissing Dean's neck and shoulders.

 

“What, Dean?” He asked, his lips brushing over Dean's chest, wandering down to his stomach and back up again.

 

“I need you, Cas.” The mechanic wondered how he was even able to form a coherent sentence. His body was sated and yet so needy, he felt weak but he was at full attention, whimpering whenever Cas kissed him where he didn't expect it.

 

“What do you need, Dean? Tell me!” It would be too much to ask, Dean had this man back in his bed, back in his house, he already had what he needed, he wouldn't ask for more, he couldn't, he was so damn lucky already. “Speak. Or I will leave you here on your own.” The mattress shifted but Dean wasn't sure if Cas would really leave him to himself. He wouldn't risk it though.

 

“Come here, Cas. I need you, I need to feel you, please, angel, please.” He uttered. The new nickname earned him a low chuckle but Castiel didn't comment on it, in fact he liked it and slipped back onto the bed, straddling Dean under him, diving down for a mind blowing kiss.

 

“Feel me, Dean?” Castiel asked when they came apart for air and Dean lost it.

 

“I want you in me, Cas, I wanna feel you move inside of me.” He begged, squirming against the restraints. Without any warning, Cas pulled back the blindfold over his eyes and green depths fluttered open, blinking, staring into dark blue oceans that were the epitome of lust.

 

“God, you're beautiful.” The raven haired said, his hands caressing the skin next to Dean's eyes, mapping every inch of his face with his fingertips, worshiping the man in front of him. Dean's hands were released from their bindings as well, Castiel wanted them to be close, he wanted to feel Dean's arms around him, the desperate drag of fingernails over his skin. And he got it.

 

Dean was hungry for more, he opened his legs so that Cas could lie between them and he slung his arms around the dancer, pressing naked skin to naked skin, moaning at the contact. Their movements got more and more urgent, they held each other close and when Cas slid into his body, Dean arched off the mattress, moaning shamelessly and loud, falling apart under Cas' gentle movements.

 

“So good, Cas...” He murmured as his legs came up to wrap themselves around his dancer, clinging to his well muscled body like a drowning man, holding him close, so close, relishing in the sounds that Castiel made, not aware of the noise that escaped his own lips whenever Cas' tip brushed over that sweet spot within him. “Fuck, Cas, more!” The dancer knew exactly what his lover wanted and needed, his rhythm increased and Dean's screams aroused him even more, making it impossible for him to stop.

 

They both knew that they wouldn't last long, they had been apart for too long but they had the rest of their lives to go slow whenever they wanted. For now Castiel pounded into Dean, fucking him into the mattress with smooth movements of his hips, drawing the sweetest moans and screams from his pink lips that he covered with his own for passionate kisses.

 

When they came they came together, Dean clenching around his lover, driving him over the edge as the hardest orgasm he ever had hit him and made him see stars behind his eyelids. Cas kissed him through it, his movements growing slower, they were both spent, but the dancer didn't just collapse on top of Dean, he settled back into the pillows and carefully pulled the tired man onto his chest, kissing his temple.

 

“I love you, Dean.” He whispered, hands brushing through dirty blonde hair but then he heard a lost sob from Dean's lips and when he grabbed the mechanic's face to make him look into blue eyes, the other man's were firmly closed. “Hey... You okay?” He asked but Dean kept silent. “Look at me!” The dancer feared that he had made a huge mistake because when green eyes opened, tears ran over Dean's cheeks and he tried to hide his face again but Cas wouldn't let him.

 

“I haven't heard these words in ages.” The younger man whispered, keeping his voice low so it wouldn't break. He was shocked because of Cas' confession, he hadn't dared to hope for hearing them so soon, he knew how hard it was for people to tell him that they liked him and no other man or woman except from his family had ever told him that. It was his first time, damn it, he was allowed to be touchy about it, right? Castiel sensed his fragile mood and moved so that they were lying on the pillow again, he pulled Dean's head against his chest and held him close, his mouth caressing his lover's cheek and ears with his lips. Dean was thankful for the silence that followed, he breathed in Castiel's intoxicating scent as the words sunk in. Cas loved him! He was the happiest man on earth and yet he was crying like a baby. Damn this dancer and his ability to make him fall apart so easily.

 

“I was hoping that you would come to see me dance.” Cas said after a long while, strengthening his hold around the man in his arms. “I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me again after I walked away that night. It was a harsh reaction but I wasn't able to stop thinking about what Nick had done to me. It's unfair... I'm so sorry, Dean.”

 

“S'okay. I learned my lesson.” Green eyes looked up from under long lashes, locking with those beautiful depth of Castiel. “I'll make sure to never hurt you again. You're the best that ever happened to me, Cas.” A stunning smile graced his chapped lips when he heard that. “Don't laugh about it. It's just the plain truth.” Gentle hands came up to caress Dean's cheeks and stubble, mapping every inch of his face again and Cas came closer to press their lips together in a chaste kiss that soon got deeper, making them both moan a little when their bodies came together under the blankets, both feeling the lust of the other.

 

“Is it strange that I want you again, Dean?” Cas asked. The other man smile, rocking his hips into Castiel's, making him gasp.

 

“I'm yours. Take me as often as you please.” At these words the dancer made Dean turn around in his arms, holding Dean's back against his chest, kissing the back of his neck restlessly, his hands caressing his whole body until they were both fully hard again and ready for more. He took Dean sweetly, slowly, now, lying behind his body, rocking into him lazily, enjoying the mechanic's pleas for more and faster but he took his time, worshiping Dean the way he deserved it.

 

“You feel so good, Cas.” Dean moaned and his words made Cas grab him closer, one hand wandering down into the man's lap to stroke his member just as slow as he fucked into his body. “Hmmm... So good, Cas, so fuckin' good.” Dean mumbled helplessly, writhing in Cas' arms.

 

“Shh... I got you, love.” Cas cooed into his ear and Dean mewled at that name, pressing back against Cas to feel him closer. The thrusts got more urgent, Castiel was close, his lips kissing behind Dean's ear, making the man moan in pleasure.

 

“I – I'm so close... _Cas!_ ” Dean gasped, shaking violently as he tried to hold back but this was enough for Cas. He squeezed Dean's member, twisting his wrist with every downward stroke.

 

“Come for me, love.” The dancer whispered into his lover's ear, licking the sensitive shell, smiling when Dean lost it and wildly came over his hand. Cas stroked him through his orgasm, releasing himself in Dean's body with a wicked moan before he gathered the spent man in his arms again, holding him as if he never would let go until they both fell asleep, enjoying the warmth of the other.

 

**+XxX+**

 

 

 

Dean woke up first the next morning. He knew that Castiel wasn't a morning person but if he would wake him up the right way, Cas would be in a good mood for the rest of the day. It was unbelievable how much he wanted the dancer again, he was already hard just thinking about the man and when he turned around he gasped. Fuck, this man was beautiful. Dean felt a little foolish but so what? It was okay. Cas was here and he loved him back. He had told him and the mechanic smiled when he thought back at the words.

 

Carefully Dean crawled under the covers, kissing his way down Cas' chest and stomach, grinning when a lost moan reached his ears. The raven haired wasn't awake yet but he felt Dean's caresses. Obviously, when Dean reached Cas' thighs his member was already interested in the gentle ministrations. Dean had never done this before but he was eager to and he knew what he liked, so he would just try it, right? Hell, he had never done this before, it had always been Cas and now that he thought about it, it was a little odd. This was definitely something he had to learn, starting right now. Slowly he sucked the tip into his mouth, it was hot and smooth and the sound that Castiel made encouraged him to go on.

 

Licking over the hard flesh covered by silken skin was even better than Dean had imagined, his fingers caressed those wonderful hip bones of his lover as he swallowed down Cas inch by inch, sucking him deeper into his mouth, loving the gasps and groans that fell from Castiel's mouth as he woke up slowly, his hands wandering into Dean's hair, fingernails scratching over his scalp. Fuck, the mechanic was hard himself, hearing this wonderful deep voice moan in helpless pleasure was so damn hot.

 

Dean's fingers grabbed his own member, slowly stroking himself. Now, he was moaning himself, the vibrating noise adding to Cas' pleasure. “Dean... Dean... Oh God, Dean...” It went on and on, his name slipped from those wicked pinks lips again and again, making Dean shiver with lust. Castiel writhed under his mouth, Dean was sure that he was close already, he could feel Cas' cock twitch between his lips. With a wicked pop he pulled his mouth away and looked up the length of Cas' body, locking eyes with the man.

 

“I wanna taste you. Come!” He purred and watched Cas close his eyes, the black haired head falling onto the pillow. Dean closed his lips around Cas' cock again and sucked him eagerly, his tongue licking every inch he could reach as he stroked himself harder, moaning around that tasty flesh. When Cas came he swallowed everything and for a brief second he wondered why this threw him over the edge as well but it was great.

 

“Fuck, Dean...” Cas was panting hard, the hand in Dean's hair pulling the younger man up to his face to cover his lips in a searing kiss, devouring him thoroughly. “You're hot, love.” He whispered when he was done with stealing Dean's breath. “I missed you so damn much.” His slender finger came up to gently brush over the other man's lips that were deep red and swollen from what he had done and the deep kiss. Blue eyes were glazed over as he stared into Dean's, drowning in them, lost, because they were finally back together.

 

“I won't leave you again.” Dean said with a smile, resting his forehead against Castiel's. They stayed like this for a while, both coming down slowly, enjoying the presence of the other and in the end it was Dean who sat up and announced that he would make breakfast for them but before he got up he bent down to kiss Cas breathless again, grinning when the other watched him as he climbed out of bed stark naked, walking over into the kitchen to make some coffee first, then some scrambled eggs and toast.

 

It felt great to know that Castiel was in the other room, it made him smile like a maniac, he was happy and content and when he switched on the radio he instantly recognized the song and sang along. Sophie would be happy, too, she had missed it that he had done that. Damn, this was so good, so right!

 

Ten minutes later the raven haired came into the kitchen and found a naked Dean with the back towards the door, putting the scrambled eggs onto a plate carefully. The younger man didn't hear the dancer and he gave a surprised gasp when strong arms came around his middle and pressed him against a warm body. But Cas was wearing clothes and when Dean looked over his shoulder, he found the other man in his own bathrobe, loving that Castiel wore his clothes. Fuck, it was good.

 

Before they had breakfast, Cas bent Dean over the counter to have him again, his hand grabbing the back of his neck, holding the mechanic down forcefully but Dean would lie if it didn't arouse him even more. They ate in front of the TV, watching the last episode of the first season Sleepy Hollow. Dean hadn't been able to watch it without his lover, it reminded him of their evenings together too much but here they were again, together and content.

 

After the second episode of the second season Dean got up to take the plates back into the kitchen, placing them in the dishwasher while Castiel went into the bedroom to pull on some clothes. When he came back into the living room, Dean was already dressed as well and there were keys in his hand, that he dangled in front of Castiel's nose with a sheepish smile.

 

“What's that?” Cas asked with a puzzled look but Dean only came closer, pressed the keys into his hand and kissed his mouth lightly.

 

“I want you to move in with us.” He simply answered, making Castiel blush and stare. In fact Dean was blushing himself, he wasn't sure if this was too much to ask because it kind of meant for Castiel to give up a part of his life. When the dancer didn't answer, Dean got nervous. “Uhm... You can keep your apartment of course and just come here when you wanna. I mean – well – so you can come whenever you want and... yeah.” Dear God, how was this raven haired beauty even able to make him stammer like this? It never happened before Cas...

 

Castiel still stared at the keys, his mouth hanging open a little. This was fast but the crazy thing was that he didn't even mind. He would love to live with Dean and Sophie.

 

“This is great, Dean.” He whispered, his voice low so Dean wouldn't hear it shaking but he did and grinned a little. So Cas was just as nervous about it as he was. Blue eyes looked up from the keys in his hand. “Are you really sure?”

 

“Of course, angel.” Dean gave a low chuckle. “I'll never do this to you again, I'll never leave you again, okay?” Castiel nodded, he was feeling just the same, he would die without Dean by his side, the last weeks had shown this very clearly.

 

“Okay.”

 

“You'll move in?” Dean asked, so much hope in his voice that it was Castiel's turn to grin.

 

“Yes.”

 

Cas took Dean one more time before the men finally made their way over to Jo's house, he wasn't able to keep his hands off of his lover but Dean wasn't complaining, it felt good and he never wanted this desire to end. They walked the few blocks to Dean's friend, holding hands all the way, their fingers laced together tightly. When they knocked on Jo's door she opened it with a huge knowing grin on her face and watched the two men closely.

 

“You're late.” She stated. “And Dean, you should wear a scarf...” With these words she opened the door wider, inviting them in. Dean didn't even blush at her words just returned her smile and lead Castiel into her house, knowing it inside out since years and knowing where Sophie would wait for him. He was right, she was sitting at the kitchen table, a hot cacao in front of her, holding the cards of her favorite game in her tiny hands.

 

“Hey Sweetie.” Dean greeted her and she scowled down at her cards, then threw them onto the table and got up to hug Dean. “Hope you behaved well.” He smiled when he kissed the girls hair and forehead, his smile never faltering, he was so content, so unbelievably happy that his little family was finally back together and really _together._ She nodded and looked over his shoulder, finding Castiel in the doorway who just watched the scene.

 

“Hello Cas!” She smiled, waving at him. “Are you Dean's boyfriend, _now_?” She inquired, sounding impatient. The raven haired man just nodded and Sophie breathed a sigh of relief.

 

“Finally!”

 

**~°~END~°~**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!THANK YOU!!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!


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